Tag Archives: Single Mother

5 Tips On How to Talk To Children About Tragedies

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With the recent tragedies in Boston and West Texas, parents must find a way to reassure children in an age appropriate manner. Younger children may not understand and need assurance. While older children can become overwhelmed with the constant media coverage.

Children process these things differently.  To help parents respond, Latina On a Mission asked Dr. Phyllis Ohr, Child Psychologist for Press4Kids’ News-O-Matic, the first educational, news app for children 7 to 10 years old. Dr. Ohr is also the Director of the Child and Parent Psychological Services Clinic at Hofstra and the Assistant Director of the Clinical Psychology Doctoral Program.

Mother and Son Talking | Latina On a Mission

Below are five (5) tips from Dr. Ohr on how parents can address news issues with children and what children can do to feel better:

  1. When the event does not personally affect the child, reassure them that everything is okay with the people they love and that nothing has changed for them.
  2. Be sure to stress to children that if they do have questions to ask parents, teachers as well as friends. Other children having the same feelings may be comforting.
  3. Begin by giving the child a brief synopsis of what happened by using age appropriate language. Ask if there is something they want to know more about or if they need something explained further. If so, stick to pointedly answering their question or clarifying. Do not add on or digress.
  4. Do not assume the news will make children feel a certain way. Ask if they know how they feel, but stress that kids feel all different ways when they hear important news and sometimes do not know how they feel or do not feel anything which is okay. However, if children are affected by it, it is their own feeling. Reassure children that no matter what they are feeling, their feelings are okay.
  5. If they are upset but don’t want to talk, suggest a fun activity for distraction or help them use calming skills like playing, drawing a picture or writing a story. These activities help release any upset feelings and make children feel better.

Let’s talk! Has your child asked questions about the recent tragedies? How did you respond? Please share your story or tips in a comment below!

Sons Should Come With A Disclaimer

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“You’re my Wonder Mom.”

My tween proclaimed those words this past week. His back had been badly hurt playing Dodge-ball in school and he could not walk.

Wonder Woman Portrait
As I lifted him up, I winched but did not let him see. He is no longer a baby. He weighs more then 105 lbs. Yet, last week he had become a baby. He could not sit up or get out of bed on his own. Standing was a feat only accomplished with my support. Walking was impossible.

Simple tasks, normally taken for granted, seemed insurmountable.

But love moves. It’s not only a noun, but a verb. It propelled me. I helped him bathe, brushed his teeth and helped him relieve himself, before returning him to bed and handing him the TV remote control.

Thank goodness for TV! It gave me some respite. It allowed me to catch my breath and hid my tears.

I have no shame in saying I was scared. I was also beyond exhausted. I had barely slept, hearing every cry of pain, uttered in his sleep.

The day of the incident I raced around the city. I was advised by his school he was going to be taken to Beth Israel because of some pain. As I raced in a cab to the hospital, I received another call. EMT noted my tween had to be taken to Bellevue, a trauma center, instead. “A trauma center” echoed in my head as I changed course.

We spent almost 10 hours in Bellevue’s pediatric trauma unit. We watched a teen come in with stab wounds, heard the cries of a toddler receive stitches, and were moved as a young girl in severe respiratory distress had to receive air and have her lungs x-rayed.

My anxiety level could not take much more. I felt as if a panic attack was coming and needed air desperately. But I couldn’t leave my tween. Not at Bellevue Hospital. Not alone.

The nurse came over and suggested he stay overnight. I couldn’t. In my mind, I knew I should. I also knew I would not be able to keep the panic attack at bay much longer.  I felt like a horrible Mom. 

I had no one to relieve me, not until Karl, my teen, came home. He was expected Saturday evening, almost 24 hours later.

I told them I would return for a follow-up. I could not stay. My tween was a trooper, he agreed. He knew I was getting edgy. Sadly, with my thyroid issue, he’s witnessed a panic attack before. It was not pretty. Sleep deprivation has that effect on me, so does stress. The resident arranged for a follow-up and we left.

I thank God for the kindness of strangers. The cab driver carried my tween to and from the cab. A gentleman in my building helped me carry him, his bag, my bag and the crutches up the stairs. I know I wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.

My tween can now walk. The pain has diminished but has not completely disappeared. The injury caused a bulging disc. The hope is that the pain will diminish with time, that his body will heal itself. Till then, the memories have consumed me.

I’m glad his injury wasn’t worse, that he is healing and walking. Yet, a part of me, continues to hear the whisper, “You’re a horrible Mom.” I feel like I failed him by not remaining in the hospital. I hope that will fade in time as well.

Till then, what holds me together are those four words:

“You’re my Wonder Mom.”

I don’t have a cape, do not have superhuman powers, or superior combat and battle skills, but I have love. Love moves.

Tough Girl

UPDATE: My teen told me he sprained his ankle. Sons should really come with a disclaimer.

Photo Credit: Wonder Woman Portrait by bbaltimore, on Flickr

 

In Celebration of Single Mothers

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This Mother’s Day, Latina On a Mission and ViveMejor.com want to celebrate the unsung heroes in a multitude of households: single Mothers.

According to the census, there are over 10 million single moms with children under 18. They are driven and successful. They work. They nurture. They do. All. The. Time.

Today we want to recognize three very special single Moms. These women were nominated by friends and family during Latina On a Mission’s Twitter and Facebook call to action. They are madres solteras and they are inspirational!

Today we celebrate you, and all other single mothers, for what you do!


  • “I’m parenting on purpose”


    Six years ago, at the age of 19, Alexandra Vanegas gave birth to a daughter. Soon after, she became a single parent and it propelled her to do more with her life!

    Alexandra has striven to parent by example. She obtained her degree, was recently featured in JET magazine as a Mom blogger to follow, and organized a fundraiser to help an impoverished library in Zimbabwe! According to Alexandra, she is “parenting on purpose…to ensure that I am doing all that I can to nurture my daughter not only in my love but also in experiences.”

    In celebration of all you do Alexandra, we want to send you a gift basket with products from TRESemmé and Suave Professionals, courtesy of Suave Professionals (estimated retail value $50)!



  • "Don't give up!"


    Christine Garcia may be battling stage II breast cancer but that doesn’t stop her from being the best Mom possible to her handsome son, EJ.

    Like many single parents, she has challenges, including lack of financial support and the absence of her son’s father. She is also currently undergoing chemo treatment. Yet, this does not diminish the joys of being a single parent to her son EJ. He is her greatest joy!

    Her advice to other single moms, “Don't give up! Nothing in this world comes easy to us. Take it one day at a time. Always walk with your head held high and never let anyone bring you down.”

    To honor Christine on Mother’s Day, Vivemejor will send Christine a Dove and Dove Clear Tone gift basket, with an estimated retail value of $50. Because we agree, life is too short to sweat the small stuff!

  • "Reach out to other single parents”


    Amelia Sanchez is a single mother of two daughters, ages 20 and 16.

    It was not an easy journey. Her oldest suffers from bipolar and depression, while her youngest has severe fatigue syndrome. Yet, Amelia knew these conditions did not define them, just as being a single mother did not define her. And she proved it.

    While working a full time job, Amelia started baking for others and now has a strong, dedicated clientele that has grown progressively via word of mouth. As for her daughters, the oldest is in college and the youngest is on the Honor Roll.

    Her greatest advice to single moms, “Reach out to other single parents for support. Their support will be invaluable."

    For never giving up and being an inspiration to her daughters and others, Vivemejor.com wants to send Amelia a gift basket with products from TRESemmé and Suave Professionals (estimated retail value $50)
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