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My sons are pretty mature for their age. I don’t coddle or baby them, not because I don’t want to, but because as a single mother, I don’t have the time. I never realized just how much I treated them like mini adults until recently when I was talking to my youngest.
I can’t recall the exact conversation but I can tell you his last statement.
He said:
Mom, you know sometimes you talk to me like I’m an adult. I don’t want you to think I’m not listening or don’t want to talk to you but sometimes I just don’t understand you.I don’t think I will ever forget those words. They were an eye opener.
Have you had moments of clarity with your child(ren)? Please share!
Spanish Version:
Mis hijos son maduros para su edad. No puedo mimar o ñoñar los, no porque no quiero, pero porque soy una mama soltera y no tengo tiempo. No me había dado de cuenta que los estaba tratando como mini-adultos, hasta recién, cuando estaba hablando con mi hijito.
No me recuerdo las palabras exacta de la conversación pero te puedo decir el ultimo frase que él me dijo.
El dijo:
Mami, tu sabes que a veces tu me hablas como si yo fuera un adulto. Yo no quiero que tú pienses que no te estoy escuchando, o que no quiero hablar contigo, pero yo no te entiendo.
Jamás me voy a olvidar esas palabras. Me abrieron los ojos.
{ 10 comments… add one }
Umm…. yes! My son is 2 years old and sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Sometimes I speak to him like he’s much older and I had to realize and step back a bit…. I had to tailor my expectations of him.
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I’m sure I did it at some point more than once. I am glad your son told you. That way you will be aware next time. I am also guilty of being over protective with both of mis hijos so I have to say I did cuddle them a lot and it do most of the time. :-/
Love Andrew’s response…I am also guilty of speaking to my youngest like she’s an adult.
I believe as parents we are all guilty of unintentionally treating our children like adults. I don’t think there is a reason why we do it it just seems to happen.
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I may be an extreme. Sometimes with my daughter, it’s so easy to talk about everything because I figure “well we’re both girls”.
Now that I’m in college and trying to juggle classwork, activities and home, my daughter encourages me to join clubs. Her words were “Mom I think it would be good to socialize with people besides me”
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It’s true my kids are grown up, but I watch my grand-daughter and sometimes I find myself talking to her like an adult. My husband reminds me remember she’s a little girl. I know, but she talks like a grown up.
Wow, I do talk to my three year old son like if he’s an adult. My husband and I agreed that we wouldn’t talk to him with baby language since he was born. Even as a newborn, we spoke to him like if he understood everything. Yes, it has helped because he does understand, but sometimes we forget that he’s only three years old. Thanks for making me reflect on this. God bless.
Sometime we forget that our kids and just kids. I find myself talking to my grand-daughters like they are adults. The youngest one will say grandma I just don’t understand what you are saying. We need to remember that they only are little for a short time and they will grow-up faster than we think.
GUILTY! When I talk to other kids my son’s age (i.e. our cousins ages 3 – 5), they tend to give me a blank stare or just smile. I noticed I have to remind myself to “talk to a 5 year old” when speaking to other children, but never with my own child. I’ve noticed that my son will always ask for clarification if he doesn’t understand what we’re saying, to which we’ll kindly oblige. Our friends are surprised by the conversations they’ll have with him, and can’t believe he’s only 5. I would like to believe I’m balancing him out. I still coddle him (though he vehemently fights me on this). I call him “my baby”, to which he’ll say, “I’m not a baby! I’m a man!”. I find myself now trying to push him back into his age range, because he’s maturing too quickly for my liking. We’ve also noticed that he gets along with much older kids (10 and up), rather than children his age and this worries me, especially since he’s about to start Kindergarten.
It seems as though our attempts to raise a smart child has resulted in unknowingly cultivating a mini adult. Whether this is a good or bad thing, we have yet to fully figure it out. I’m afraid we’ve gone past the point of no return… gosh, I hope not.
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I love his response, too cute!