Category Archives: Life

First Born, Postpartum Depression, and Empty Nest Syndrome

Posted on by
11

Today my man child turns 17. I can’t believe time has flown so fast.

I never knew how wonderful, frustrating, exhilarating and annoying motherhood could be when I had him.

I so long to hold him and never let him go, which is so unlike me. When he was born, I refused to see or hold him. I admit, the first words out my mouth, when he was born was, “He’s ugly!”. I exclaimed these words as the Doctor pulled him out of my stomach.  He wasn’t what I expected, the birthing experience wasn’t what I expected. It was so unlike television births. It was too much. I was a single mother and extremely overwhelmed.

I had postpartum depression.

At the time I had no idea what that meant. I just knew being a mother was not as wonderful as other people said it was.  IT. WAS. HARD.

He didn’t sleep at night which meant neither did I. I was extremely sleep deprived. I was also sad because of my break up, disappointed that I was not producing enough milk to breastfeed, and mourning the loss of my two cousins’ babies. 

I should have been happy. Karl survived because of an emergency C-section. I knew this, but … I wasn’t.  

I was in survival mode during the first six months of  his life. I did my duty as a mom. That was the best I could do at that time.

Eventually, that changed. I began to look at him with new eyes. How could it be that this little creature, this tiny being, was mine?  He had become my world, my reason for existing. I began to see the world differently. Friends didn’t beckon me as they once did. Parties didn’t either. I wanted to be around other mothers. I wanted to be a better mother, for him.

My teen changed my life for the better, as did my ten year old. They spur me, ignite my passion and are the reason I work so hard. I can’t imagine my life without them, here by my side, and so I find myself in a dilemma…

I have one more year before my teen goes away to college.

I’ve prepared him for the world, but forgot to prepare myself.

Karl

Click here to read my letter to my sons or read about Karl’s STRONG 16.

 


Spanish Version

Hoy mi hijo cumple 17 años. El tiempo ha volado.

Cuando tuve mi hijo, yo no sabía que siendo una mama iba ser tan maravillosa, frustrante, estimulante y molestoso.

Me encantaría abrazarlo y nunca dejarlo ir y eso no es comunión para mí. Cuando él nació, yo no quería verlo o aguantarlo. Yo admito, las primeras palabas que salieron de mi boca fueron, “¡Es feo!”. Exclamé las palabras mientras la Doctora lo estaba sacando de mi estomago. El no era lo que yo esperaba, dando luz no era lo que yo esperaba. No era como los nacimientos de televisión. Mi situación era demasiado para mí. Yo era una madre soletera y mi situación me tenía abrumada.

Yo tenía la depresión posparto.

En el momento, yo no sabía lo que significaba eso. Yo sólo sabía que ser madre no era tan maravilloso como la gente decía que era. ERA. DIFICIL.

El no dormía por la noche y yo tampoco. Yo estaba súper cansada todo el tiempo. También estaba triste porque la relación no funciono con el papa, deprimida que no estaba produciendo suficiente leche para él, y todavía sufriendo los muertes de dos bebes de mis primas.

¡Yo debía está feliz! Karl vivió porque mi hicieron una cesárea. Yo sabía eso, pero… no me daba alegría.

Yo estaba en modo de supervivencia durante los primeros seis meses de la vida de él. Yo hice lo que tenía que ser como madre, pero nada más. En ese momento era lo único que podía ser.

Con tiempo, eso cambio. Yo empecé a mirar a mi hijo con nuevos ojos. ¿Cómo podía ser que esta criatura, este pequeño ser humano, era mío? El era en mi mundo, mi razón para vivir. Empecé a ver el mundo alrededor de nosotros con nuevos ojos. Mis amistades no eran tan importantes. Fiestas tampoco. Yo quería estar rodada con otras mamas. Yo quería ser una mejor madre, para él.

Mi hijo mayor cambió mi vida para mejor, al igual que mi hijo menor.

Ellos me estimulan, encienden la pasión para luchar adentro de mi alma y son la razón por la que trabajo tan duro. No puedo imaginar mi vida sin ellos, aquí a mi lado, y por lo tanto me encuentro en un dilema…

Tengo un año más antes de que mi hijo vaya a la universidad.

Lo prepare a él para el mundo, pero se me olvido que tenía que prepárame también.

How Do You Define Yourself?

Posted on by
18

How do you define yourself?

Are you a Mom Blogger, Latina Blogger, Christian Blogger, African American Blogger, Green Blogger, Tech Blogger, etc?

When I started my blog, I did not want to be labeled. I had too many labels already. I was a mother, sister, aunt, student, employee, foodie, gardener, crafter, painter and so much more. Yet each label felt restricting. It only allowed me to fit into a specific box.  As a blogger, I didn’t want to fit into a box. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be me.

But who was I?

At the time, I did not know and because I did not know the label was given to me: Ms. Latina.

It was bestowed on me by a fellow blogger.

Ms. Latina,  a derivative of my blog name, “Latina On a Mission”.

It stuck, for better or worse.

I am now and forevermore known as Ms. Latina.

Yet I did not complain. The label fit me.  It is who I was and who I am.

I’m not tied as a Mrs. or young like a Miss. I am a Ms., with many faces.

I am a bold,  sassy, Latina.

Ageless.

What I define as Latinalicious™.

And you…

How do you define yourself?

She Survived a Fatal Bus Crash

Posted on by
21

This has been a crazy month. My debit card was stolen and my account cleaned out, I forgot to return two rented tuxs and had to pay an exorbitant amount of money, and one of my best friends was in a horrible bus accident.

That last one put everything into perspective.

All else faded once that occurred.

My other posts were scheduled this week, so this one may seem as if it’s coming out of left field. It is. I needed to get it out of my head, so here I am typing away.

One of my closest friends was in the June 1, 2011 fatal bus crash. She survived. Four others died.

She was sleeping when it occurred. Like the others, she wore no seat belt. She had confidence in the driver. It was his job to get them to New York safely. He didn’t. It seems he was sleeping right along with them.

She woke when the bus crashed, thrown like a rag doll all about. She can still hear the screams and see the glass, metal and bodies breaking. Hers included.

She thought it was a dream, a nightmare. It was her 1st time traveling by bus. She couldn’t believe it was true.  

When the bus came to a stop, she tried to get up. She soon discovered she couldn’t move, couldn’t walk. Her leg was mangled. It lay in an unnatural position, unable to support her, hanging from her body.

Her voice, mingled with others, crying for help. She wanted to get out but couldn’t. The legs that danced with joy on the church stage, could not hold her up any longer.

She told me later the bus driver carried her out. He placed her on the road before going back to help others.

She was in shock. All around her was destruction. Screaming and wailing, twisted, broken bodies.  Four died that day, including one sitting in her assigned seat. It could have been her.

She can’t get the carnage out of her head. She can no longer sleep. The shock of waking that night to a real life nightmare has taken away that ability. She does not feel safe. Physically, she fared better than some of the others. The newspapers noted four died that night. She was one of the lucky few who survived. God was with her. Mentally, she is taking a beating. She relives the event. She sees the broken bodies, hears the sounds of impact, feels the same terror… over and over again.  

She tried to reach me for several days on my cell phone but my voice messages were full. I hadn’t had time to clear my personal messages with all the running around I’ve been doing. She finally contacted me with a private Facebook message.

As I read it, I thanked God she was alive! She is one of my closest friends, one of my best  friends. We’ve been through so much, her and I.  She’s been my rock for so many years. She helped me through my divorce, through my trails as a single mother, dragged me to the gym every day till I lost 30lbs and made me laugh when I wanted to cry. She was my pillar of strength, the one who kept me sane these past few years. She gave me HOPE. She showed me God.

Knowing this, you would have thought that I would have ran when I heard.

I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

I was scared.

I was selfish.

I didn’t want to see her hurt. I didn’t want to think I had come so close to losing her.

It took me two days, TWO DAYS, to go visit her.

I cried. I cried for her pain, for what she endured, for her. I. Cried. For. Her. And she… she consoled me.

She reminded me that she should have been sitting where one of the victims sat. Yet a still, small voice told her to sit elsewhere.  She heeded. It saved her life.

She’s alive by God’s grace.  Her leg was saved. Metal rods placed inside to hold it together. Rods that can be seen whenever you look at her leg. It is her leg, but not her leg. She cannot walk. She cannot dance.

Yet she still sings.

She uses no words. She doesn’t have to. Her life IS the song. It sings praises to the King, day in and day out.

She is alive!

And one day, I know she will dance again.


********************

To see the extent of the accident, click below.

FREE or Discounted Mother’s Day Gifts

Posted on by
1

Did you wait till the last minute to purchase your Mother’s Day gift and now don’t know what to do? DON’T DESPAIR!

It’s not too late! Here are a few ideas that I thought were worth sharing.

  • Cook a home made meal. Get ideas by downloading this Free eCookbook, featuring 28 pages of Mother’s Day recipe ideas for brunch and dessert. Click HERE to download the Free eCookbook. Don’t want to cook? Present the cookbook as a gift, including the ingredients to one of the recipes!

 

 

FTD and Blooms Today have Next Day or Same Day delivery, while Restaurant.com gift certificates can be delivered electronically for those Moms that are far away. 

Use the coupons below to get the best deals!

 

 

 

Have a fabulous Mother’s Day!

Don’t miss out on future freebies & coupons.
Subscribe!
Have questions about something found within this post?
Read my Disclosure Policy.

Andrew’s Birth Story

Posted on by
8

Where has the time gone? It seems like I just blinked and ten years zoomed by. Or is it just that I want to make time stand still.

It seems like just yesterday…

I was packing my bag, preparing for my scheduled cesarean. It had been a hard pregnancy. I was placed on bedrest for most of the pregnancy. I didn’t mind. I knew it had to be done. I had miscarried three times over the past 7 years. I didn’t want to take another chance.

That night my ex-husband and I cuddled, talking into the night. We knew it was a boy, the sonograms told us so. Would he look like him or me? Or a combination of us both?  We debated, laughing, as we discussed our different body parts. I can’t recall which we claimed. But I do remember we both agreed he shouldn’t dance like me.

The next day we dropped Karl, my oldest, off at school before heading to the hospital. He wanted to come but I was too afraid. In the back of my mind, I worried. What if I lost this one too? I couldn’t let him go through it again. I wanted to shield Karl, as much as I could.  The pain of the last miscarriage had hit him hardest of all.

As they prepped me, my ex-husband held my hand and tried to ease my fears. My mother, who had come along for moral support, sat quietly in a corner chair. Praying, I’m sure. At that moment, I wished I had her faith. I wasn’t a Believer back then.

The nurses left the room. I looked at the clock. It was 9am. My son, our son, would be here soon. 

At about 9:30am, I was wheeled into the operating room. My ex-husband followed. I was given anesthesia. Too much, I might add. I couldn’t even move my head. I asked my ex-husband to turn my face.  I wanted to see.

I couldn’t.

A curtain obstructed my view. But I could feel. Not the pain of the incision, but the tugging on my skin. I knew they were cutting into me.

I felt it. The pulling and tugging as they moved inside of me.

I held my breath. So did he. We looked at one another. It seemed like an eternity had passed.

Would this time be different?

Would we hear the cries?

He had fear in his eyes.

I saw it.

I felt it.

Then suddenly we heard it … a cry!

The baby was alive!

The Doctor lifted it up so we could see. It was a crying, wailing, bloodied, baby boy, with ten fingers and ten toes, and he was ours!

Our family was complete.

Fast forward ten years.

We’re together again, celebrating another year. It’s our son’s 10th BIRTH day.

He’s no longer a baby. He’s finally hit double digits. An age when he’s stuck between two stages, where he wants to crawl into Mommy’s arms,  yet is craving independence to show that he is no longer a child.

This birthday had to be BIG and it was, thanks to McDonald.

(Continued tomorrow)

Love & Wine

Posted on by
Reply

Picture the following scenes:

Scene 1

A sabroso/savory meal cooking on the stove, soft music playing in the background, perhaps Luther Vandross singing “Never Too Much”,  Teddy Pendergrass crooning “Turn Off the Lights”, Maxwell reminding him just how “Fortunate” he is, or a more upbeat Bruno Mars belting out “Just The Way You Are”, and you … wearing a perfectly, tantalizing outfit.

The door rings. Your heart skips a beat. It’s time.

You grab a wineglass filled with Amitage, a red wine with a subtle spiciness and silky mouthfeel, as you head to the door. You take a deep breath. You’re ready.

You swing the door open. His eyes travel over you. His face says it all. You wrap your arms around him and lovingly give him a kiss. He sighs. You giggle, hand him the wineglass, lead him inside and close the door.

  

Scene 2

As you open your eyes, you stretch, catlike. You lay in bed, listening. The quiet is intoxicating.

You turn slowly, savoring every movement. Your eyes fall on your husband. He looks so serene, so unlike his waking demeanor. He’s been having such a hard time at work. They laid off a few of his co-workers and he’s been working longer hours. Stress hasn’t allowed him to get a fitful night’s sleep in a long time. It finally caught up to him last night.

Your eyes travel to the window as a soft breeze stirs the curtains. You have an idea, one you’re sure he’ll enjoy. It will let him relax, get his mind off the issues at work, while giving you and the children some time with him. You slowly get out of bed, head to the door and close it. You don’t want to wake him or the children.

It’s early enough that you can prepare a picnic basket. You make turkey empanadas, arepitas de yuca (yucca fritters) and an Edamame and Navy Bean Salad with Orange-Balsamic Dressing. It will go perfectly with a chilled bottle of Moscato, a semi-sweet white wine that compliments salads and saltier/spicier meals. Thankfully, you brought a few bottles since they cost about $12 each.  

You can’t wait! You know it will be a day to remember.

 

Scene 3

You’re so excited your girlfriends are coming over. It’s been so long since you’ve all gotten together.You have so much to catch up on. You can’t wait to tell them all about your trip to Santo Domingo. You met the hottest Snorkeling Instructor. Seriously, the pictures don’t do Jose justice. Sighhhhh…

After work, you run to the supermarket to pick up snacks and three bottles of Cabernet Sauvigon. You know you and your friends will enjoy a glass or two as you catch up. Not only do the hints of dark chocolate and spice make this a wonderful wine, but its also very inexpensive at $8 a bottle.

You make it home right before the bell rings. You open the door to shrieks of glee! It’s going to be a Latinalicious night, indeed.

  

 ********************

The above scenes remind me of the movie “French Kiss”, when Kevin Cline stated :

“Wine is like people. The wine takes all the influences in life all around it, it absorbs them and it gets its personality.”
French Kiss (1995) – Luc (Kevin Kline)   

Just like the scenes above, wines vary. For many, like me, selecting the perfect bottle wine can be confusing.  Which wine should I choose? Red or White? Does it depend on the circumstances, as noted in the scenes above? And most importantly, at least for me, how much should I spend for a quality bottle?

I recently attended a meeting with Juan Muñoz-Oca, the Head Winemaker for Columbia Crest. During our meeting, we discussed the questions above, as well as as the origins of Columbia Crest’s reasonably priced wines, their various red and white blends, and Juan Muñoz-Oca’s lifelong passion for winemaking.

Below is a short video detailing which wines to choose based on the occasion and foods served. I apologize for the background noise. We were at a very popular New York location.

Mr. Muñoz-Oca also talked about his family and their passion for winemaking.  He came alive when he spoke about his family history. “I’ve been involved with grapes since I was a little boy – my grandfather was in the industry and his father was in the industry – it’s all I’ve known,” he said. They are a family of winemakers, receiving their very first taste (literally) shortly after birth!

Mr. Muñoz-Oca passion for wine is evident in the success he’s found as a winemaker. He also stands out because he fuses his Argentine cultura/culture into each bottle. It’s noted in the sweetness of the Moscato, the subtle spiciness of the Amitage, and the hints of chocolate and spice of the Cabernet Sauvignon. They are wines of distinction for under $12, that can be used in various scenarios, as shown above.

I raise my glass in a toast to Mr. Muñoz-Oca for pouring his love and passion into each bottle!

¡Salud!

 

Btw, Wine when taken in moderation is a proven stress reliever, romance builder, and great for the heart. In fact, the American Heart Association has stated that it can produce “small increase in HDL cholesterol”. What an incentive to partake in a glass or two a week.

 ********************

Disclosure: I was not compensated for the above review. I did, however, receive wine for review. I used the wine in one of the above scenes. I’ll stay mum as to which one! ;)

5 Ways to Help Japan Without Spending a Dime!

Posted on by
3

CARE JAPAN

Photo Credit

Japan suffered tremendous devastation on March 11, 2011. Countless people are missing and more than 8,649 are confirmed dead. The numbers are sure to rise as time progresses. They are in dire need of help, our help.

Below I have compiled a list of 5 ways that we can all help Japan without spending a dime. If, however, you can afford to donate to Japan’s relief fund, I strongly suggest you do. 

 

Points

  • Use your credit card and travel points to help earthquake victims in Japan. Two companies that will allow you to donate points and will match member donations are Hilton HHonors and American Express. 

Swagbucks

  • Swagbucks is an online search engine that allows web users to earn virtual currency by doing the things they do every day – search the web and shop at their favorite retailers. Members can trade their virtual currency for cash, giftcards, apparel and more. Members can  now also donate their virtual currency to Japan’s relief fund.  To donate your swagbucks to Japan click HERE.
  • If you’re not a member, you can easily join Swagbucks by clicking HERE.When you join you will get 30 Swagbucks to start you off. You can donate the 30 swagbucks to Japan immediately.

Charitable Clicking

Shop

  • Shop at sites like like GoodShop and iGive.com, who donate up to 30% and 26%, respectively, of every purchase made via their site to a charity of your choice. Both sites also provide you with store coupons and promotions to maximize your savings when shopping.

Volunteer

  • Good old fashion sweat is always needed! Help create packages, make calls or drop off/pick up supplies. Inquire at your local church, school, or local Red Cross for more information.

 

Can you think of other ways to help Japan without spending a dime?

 

Disclosure: If you sign up for Swagbucks using my link, I will get swagbucks each time you do – up to 1,000. I plan to donate those swagbucks to Japan. I hope you will too.

A Time for mom-Me

Posted on by
1

Are you a Mommy in need of some “ME” time? Do you feel as if you are losing yourself because you give and give and give to everyone but yourself? Do you need want some time to reconnect with yourself? As a single Mom, I can tell you I do!

I love my sons dearly. They mean the world to me. I can’t imagine my life without them. However, I know that time away from them, does us all good. It allows me to recharge and to regroup so that I can be the best Mom possible.

Mia Redrick, Mom Stratergist and Author, understands our dilemma. She knows we want to be there for our family. She understands that some of us even feel guilty when we can’t. She also knows that many of us need that extra push to get us to schedule time for ourselves. That’s why she is teaming up with Panera Bread to offer TEN (10) Mom groups a special chance to get involved with a “A Time for mom-Me” group.

The selected groups will receive the following perks:

  • Free copy of Mia Redrick book titled, Time for mom-Me: 5 Essential Strategies for A Mother’s Self-Care
  • Complimentary beverages per scheduled group visits at your Neighborhood Panera Bread Bakery-Cafe.
  • Free online guided exercises to support your weekly self-care discussions.
  • Reserved seating at your Neighborhood Bakery-Cafe to gather and share with your TFMM group.

If you don’t have a group yet, no worries!  Just get one together and submit your application before Feb. 14, 2011.

Click HERE to create your own group and get some “mom-Me” time!

I put in an application for ten women. Should I win I would love to get a group of diverse NYC women together for this opportunity. Let me know if you want to be included in my group in a comment. Its not guaranteed but if I win, I’ll let you know!

*Besos*

Disclosure: Said post contains an Amazon affiliate link. Purchasing an item via said link will help support Latina On a Mission without costing you a cent!

Virtual Strip Search or Pat Down?

Posted on by
5

Lately I’ve had to travel more than usual. I’m not complaining about the flying, per se. It actually breaks up the monatony of my everyday life.

No, that’s not the issue.  

The issue is the airport’s  new body scanners at Newark Airport, scanners that one day will be installed at all airports.  

Photo from The Life Files

The body scanners show a nude virtual image of all your nicks and crannies. Flyer beware: Chichos/Love handles are no longer sacred!  

What about the radiation exposure? There haven’t been enough studies to determine how it will affect travelers, especially those who travel often.  

Shy or worried about radiation? You do have another option. The full body pat down, done with palmed hands, not the back of hands as was previously done. They will feel and cup every inch of you and I do mean EVERY inch so blushers beware. Shoot, maybe I should pick the full body pat down  instead, as it will provide me with the most action I’ve seen in awhile! 

But seriously, it seems like both options will be invading some aspect of our lives. As a traveler, I’m undecided. Which should I choose?  

Wait, don’t tell me yet. Watch the below video. They bring up some interesting points that start at 1:51 and 2:28 but I suggest you listen to the entire show. 

Which would you choose?

 

5 Signs of a Sex Addiction

Posted on by

Lately, the news has been filled with scandals about sex addiction (Example: Tiger Woods and Jesse James). At first, I questioned whether it was a legitimate condition or simply an excuse given by cheating men; however, after watching the Dr. Oz show I can now understand why it is classified as an addiction.

Dictionary.com defines addiction as follows:

 

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

 

 

On the show, Dr. Drew Pinsky, a leading addiction specialist explained and discussed sexual addiction. Did the dictionary definition jibe with the one given by the esteemed doctor? Yes, it did.

Sex causes pleasure, can be  psychologically and physically habit forming and can cause severe trauma when stopped. It is as real as eating disorders or alcohol dependencies. Yet, in our society it can go unnoticed because promiscuity is condoned and male conquests celebrated. Does this mean it does not cause damage? Far from it! Sexual addictions destroys families, leaves children without a foundation, and puts the addict and their mate at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

What can you do to protect yourself? According to the esteemed Dr. Pinsky you should know the signs. Below I have listed them.

  1. Difficulty with emotions: Unable to show emotions, difficulty connecting with others on an emotional level. Person seems distant.
  2. Changes in libido: Libido increases or decreases.
  3. Excessive Internet Use: Viewing pornography or spending too much time on social media, online chat rooms.
  4. Mood swings before or after sex: Disconnected, agitated or aggravated  instead of intimate.
  5. Doesn’t socialize well: Isolates self or socializes in strange ways. Not able to read others or connect with others.

Let’s talk! Are you convinced sexual addiction is a real addiction or merely an excuse cheaters use to cheat? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Photo Credit