I’m a Latina Blogger. I work in social media. I develop and deliver media marketing strategies for a range of companies and products.
This is the explanation I give others when I’m asked what I do for a living. Normally, I get a quizzical look before the person bombards me with a variety of questions. I don’t mind. I’ve found readers and freelance jobs this way, so I am always happy to oblige.
However, just this past week, I was speaking with someone who surprised me with his comments. I met him in the neighborhood while eating breakfast. He seemed pleasant enough and so we struck up a conversation. He asked what I do for a living. I mentioned I work from home without going in depth. Similar to Kimberly Coleman’s recent experience, his reply shocked me.
Oh so you don’t work. It must be nice to have a husband who can take care of you.
I’m pretty sure he was fishing, trying to find out if I was married, but his reply vexed me to no end.
Again, I stated I work from home.
He looked at me and said,
I understand. I know housework can be very hard work.
I was deeply offended. His response seemed antiquated, at best, and offensive, at worst. Now this doesn’t mean to say that being a stay at home Mom is not a job in and of itself. I, myself, was a stay at home mom for sometime and I know first hand how difficult it is. Additionally, as Kimberly stated in her post,
Work is work. All moms (whether they work inside of the home, outside of the home or a combination thereof) who have kids living at home with them are workers.
I agree. However, the impression this man gave me was that he could not believe a woman had the abilty to work from home and earn money. It boggled my mind!
We went back and forth for sometime but I could tell he did not understand or would not budge from his stance. I would like to note now that we were conversing in Spanish. Could some of what I was saying have gotten lost in translation? I don’t think so but I will give him the benefit of the doubt. He was an older gentleman, well dressed, and appeared intelligent.
I want to believe that this scenario would not have gone differently if I was a man. Yet, I can’t. It’s not the first time I have met resistance to my “work at home” status. Could it be because of my gender? Or perhaps because I am a single parent? I’m not sure.
What I am sure of is that there will always be people who do not understand, who place people in boxes and who will stifle me if I allow them to. I, however, am sure of what I am.
I’m a Latina Blogger. I work in social media. I develop and deliver media marketing strategies for a range of companies and products.
And I am darn good at it!
Let’s talk! Have you ever faced resistance to a lifestyle choice? Let us know in a comment!
{ 21 comments… add one }
OMGOD yes Ms. Latina. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom about 6 years ago and I’ve heard EVERY comment from “Oh so you don’t do anything” to “you’re going to die an OLD/young lady if you don’t get back into the REAL world.” Well I have been trying to get back into the REAL world for the last two years but haven’t been able to find a decent job…… There is such a stigma of women who choose to stay-at-home for whatever reason they may have, but work IS work whether it’s in the house or out. I’ve decided to go back to school to get my degree to get a better paying job. Btw, my response has always been ” I do things, I twiddle my thumbs all day, that’s hard enough!!” They seem to get the point after that, but at the same time I think if not, “que se hoda!!” LOL Btw GREAT “home office” decorating tips!!
Wow, I’d be insulted, too. For some reason, some people cannot open their minds to the possibility that you can work at home and it’s a job – it may not be “traditional,” but hey, we’re in the 21st century.
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You are a Latina Blogger whose work speaks for itself. Keep up the great work (and thanks for the mention)!
Just let them think what they what. You have a wonderful job and you know we’re in the computer generation.
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I think the fact he was older and Latino explains his being unable to comprehend the concept. My parents still see the computer as somewhat of a toy. I’ve heard the “siempre en la computadora” comments way too much. As if you cannot do something productive on a computer. However, I think he could have expressed his feelings/asked questions in a nicer way.
Oh my gosh Yokasta! You hit it right on the nose. My mother and other family members have said the same numerous times.
You are great at what you do! I can’t help but suspect that his reaction had much to do with you being a woman.
Hey! Unknown Mami stole my first line! LOL! I was going to write the exact same thing: You are great at what you do!
I´ve never had an issue like this and not sure how or if I would respond. Working from home is darn hard and not for the weak of mind. He probably can´t even grasp that!
Ana L. Flores recently posted..The Best of SpanglishBaby in Spanish On Discovery Familia!
Wow. The outright nerve of him to respond with just “oh you don’t work.” I’ve had to explain what I mean when I say I work from home, or some people ask for more specifics on what type of work. But, it’s never been questioned at that level. I would have been insulted too.
Melanie Edwards – Ella Media & ModernMami.com recently posted..“You should talk to Disney Junior about that”, 6 Year Old’s View on Influence
Keep doing it, girl, and don’t let the bigotry hold you back. You are great at what you do!
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What the.. I was thinking it would have mattered what you would have said. Some men can be so closed minded. They can not see a women advance or be self supportive. I think you an awesome Latina on a Mission and this just goes to show that your mission is working for me.. You keep going as we support you 100% on your mission to inlight people (men)..
I think there are still some people who don’t get that working from home or being a stay at home mom is work. We all make choices in our life and the best thing to do is to stick to those choices and not let others try to define what we choose.
Keep up the good work mama!
I have to think they he was raised very old-schooled. I know it’s the 2000’s but some men can’t comprehend on mothers working from home. And I agree with the other ladies here, you definitely do your job well and you keep doing it girl! XOXO
Sigh. I don’t know how old “older” is, but it doesn’t surprise me. Much like Yokasta above I also hear “siempre en la ordernadora” or “no te aburre estar en la ordernadora constantemente” from my mother. She tells me that when people ask her what I do for a living she responds that she doesn’t know. (BTW, she doesn’t do it to be mean.) I don’t know whether this man was being chauvinistic, old fashioned or just “bruto”, but one day – maybe – he will understand. And until then, you just continue bringing in the bucks and being a success, woman.
Keep up the great work!! Keep boggling people’s minds, they’ll get it sooner or later. LOL I get it all the time too. Most people just roll their eyes. I noticed its the older generation who dont really “get it”…
I keep running into the “how do I explain myself” question and realized I don’t need to. I am in the same position as you, Migdalia. Single mom and trying to hustle hard to make this dream of having the flexibility of working from home come true.
I love your response. I need to come up with a 2-sentence response that will help convey what I do. If they understand, great. If not, great. I’m not surprised that the gentlemen acted like this. I get the same type of slack at times though generally, it is dropped.
But no worries, I’m keeping track and will be sure to let those people know what’s up when things take off. Keep your head up and stick to your guns, girlie! 😉
You can’t fix stupid!!!!! He’s was ignorant, biased, sexist and blind. You wasted your time defending what you do. You know your worth, that close to you know your worth, this guy didn’t deserve your time.
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Some people just don’t get it. It doesn’t bother me at this point, but it has in the past. what matters is your getting the personal satisfaction of doing what you do as well as your family understanding and benefiting by your success!
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You are amazing!!! Aaaand “working from home” is just a job that is misunderstood… I’m a student (and thensome) who does her work at home and my parents still say, “You do nothing.” Yeah it kinda hurts, but I know they don’t mean to offend and I know I just need to keep doing what I do! 😀
Thnx for the post, mujer!
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Don’t take shit from anyone! Go girl.
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*Sigh* It could be gender-related or it could just be that some people (especially older ones) think that if you’re not going somewhere to clock in for someone else, it’s not work. In 2012, the definition of “work” has taken on a completely different meaning and it’s only going to continue to change and expand. Keep your head up. You’re doing amazing things and doing them exceptionally well!
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