Latina on a Mission

Like many, I have made of list of goals/resolutions that I would like to accomplish. Actually, in honor of 2012, I have made 12! Some may seem redundant, some simple, and others so complex I’m not sure how I will accomplish them but I have a dollar and a blog and I’m not afraid to use them!

So here goes:

1. Write one handwritten note, to be mailed or hand delivered, to a family member or friend for each day in 2012. I started this project because I think a hand written note can convey so much more than a text, Facebook post or even a tweet. It can be saved and cherished for years to come, passed down through the generations and treasured like other formats can’t.
2. Laugh with gusto each and everyday, which brings me to number 3.
3. Find humor in everyday situations.
4. Remove the words “can’t”, “can not”, “failure” and “fail” from my vocabulary. I believe words are important; as a result, I will not say I can’t or cannot. I will instead look for ways that I can. I will not place myself in a box, too many people do that already. Because really what is a failure? It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’ve tried.
5. Compliment myself at least one time each day in front of others. As a Latina woman, I was taught to not boast, to draw attention to myself and to stay silent. I say “BASTA! No more!” 2012 is the year to own my words and myself!
6. Commit to wearing colored undies every single day. That means white, taupe, beige, and black can NOT be worn in 2012. I am wearing the brightest, laciest, and most garishly sexy undies every single day. I will no longer wait for a special occasion. Why not join me? Trust me, even if you are the only one who knows it, it’ll be sure to have you strutting!
7. Lose 40, 30, 20 pounds this year. Aw shucks even 10 sounds good! I don’t want to be a stick figure, no matter what the latest fashion magazines say. I like my curves and I am sure the men do as well.
8. Take a 15 minute walk around the neighborhood everyday while smiling! Yes, that means some days I will be pasting it on but who cares!
9. Call someone every single day… before 9pm! No cell phone restrictions for me LOL
10. Work less, de-stress and make a mess…of everything! If it isn’t fun, if it doesn’t give me joy, if I can’t get down and dirty than it’s not for me. This year, I promise to be me, whether others like it or not.
11. Say YES more often. Yes, to a weekday date. Yes, to a longer lunch. Yes, to life! I only have one to live and YES I want to live it!
12. Love unconditionally whether they give it back or even deserve it. I am going to live passionately. I am going to love passionately. I am going to be ME.

Let’s talk! What are your 2012 resolutions? Let us know in a comment!

Image Credit: Image: supakitmod / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This week I met gratitude face to face. In the middle of a chaotic week, I learned I had more to offer when I had nothing to give.

Like most women, I am constantly juggling my time to accomplish as much as possible in a 24 hour day. I make to do lists, trying to squeeze in as much as possible. I am Woman. I am Invinsible… or so they say.

And so I work, buy groceries, pay bills, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner, mop, sweep, wash clothes, fold clothes, do homework, call teachers, dry tears, kiss boo boos, walk the dogs, bathe the pets, encourage friends, and in between it all try to squeeze 5 minutes for a prayer.

Its a house of cards that can fall from the slightest breeze, offering little room to focus on anything outside of it. Because I can’t control the direction of the wind, or even see outside my “everything”, unless its placed right in front of my face.

This week enlightment came in the form of a McDonalds smoothie.

I know.

Don’t laugh.

God really does use everything.

During the Thanksgiving chaos, I decided I needed a moment for myself to enjoy a Strawberry Banana Smoothie. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door not realizing I had left my wallet on the table. Thankfully, I had several McDonald’s coupons in my bag received during the Latism 11 conference.

I paid and left McDonalds, delighted that I wouldn’t have to run back home for my wallet. Sipping on my sweet healthy goodness, I passed a homeless man.

Our eyes connected.

He asked me for spare change.

I said I had none and continued walking. I walked half a block but couldn’t go further. I had a nagging feeling that I should go back. I couldn’t walk away. Reaching into my bag I pulled out the coupons. They were all I had.

I walked back… slowly.

As I approached, he turned and looked into my eyes as I said,

I’m sorry I don’t have any money but I do have this.

He continued to look into my eyes for what seemed an eternity, than looked down at my hand before looking back at me. His eyes lit up and he smiled, revealing two missing front teeth. As he took the coupons, he said

Thank you. You came back when so many don’t. God bless you.

And God did.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Let’s talk! What are you thankful for?

As a single Mom of two boys, I find it easier to relay messages to my sons, or anyone else, when giving examples. Recently, while speaking to my teen, I brought up the subject of unicycles and bicycles.

The unicycle and bicycle are pedal-driven vehicles powered by human effort.

A unicycle has one wheel. It has no handlebar. It has no brakes. It can hold no packages, unless they are on the rider’s person. A unicycle has the basics. No more. No less.  Its rider must learn to pedal, while steering and maintaining their balance, unaided.

A bicycle has at two wheels. It has handlebars that the rider can use to steer, balance or rest. It has brakes. It can be outfitted with a basket to carry packages or people.  It can pull other items. It is expandable. Growing as the rider’s needs grow.

The unicycle and the bicycle can only remain upright when in motion. Every turn of the body, bump on the road, or red light up ahead, can alter that.  Others in the road can also cause them to tumble. Shifting packages or unexpected potholes in the road can do the same. Problems can also occur when a rider is coasting, going to fast or not focused on their destination.

In the end, both can get you to your destination; however, you can only choose to ride one at a time…  

Which one would you choose?  

As a child, I lived in a world of dieters. The women in my life were constantly trying new “fad” diets to lose another five more pounds.

They ate and complained. Said they took a bite and gained. It was an endless cycle of love and hate, with themselves and the bodies around them. Curves were shunned. They no longer believed the bodies given to them were worthy. In the US, thin was in. It was the year of the super models… of Twiggy like proportions.

Growing up, I recall telling my mother I wanted to be a model myself. I looked at the magazines and wanted to be them. They looked beautiful. They looked smart. They looked…happy, with themselves.

The look she gave me that day shattered my dream. I was what I call a curvy girl. Always have been. My lower body has always been stockier than most of those around me. And people noticed.

It took many, many years for me to become comfortable with myself, with my body. I didn’t always think my curves were Latinalicious. At that time, I just wanted to fit in, to become what others defined as “beautiful”.

I now see my body for what it is, regardless of what others may say. It sustains me. It has been pushed to extremes and survived. It is Latinalicious, not just because of its curves, but also for what it can do.

I stopped the cycle of fad diets passed down to me. There are no extremes. I do not want to pass it on to my sons. I now exercise because of the health benefits, not as a chore, or a means to an end, but as a way to strengthen myself, mentally as well as physically.

I will never be a “Twiggy”. I have curves and I celebrate them!

What size am I?

I am finally a size “Happy”.

What about you?

Above I fulfilled a childhood dream. I wasn’t chained by what others said I could do.  

I was a “model” for Macy’s Style and Co. Jeans. I loved them! Why? Because I didn’t have to alter my body to fit into them. I didn’t have to lose just 5 more pounds to put them on. They celebrated my Latinalicious curves! They fit me because they were made for “real” women, like you and I, not models. They even have tummy control, for those days when you eat just to many empanadas/beef patties, like I had done the day before!  

To read more about the jeans and see the Glamour and Macy’s Style & co video click here. You’ll have a chance to see my derriere in ways you never dreamed of: Close up

Today my man child turns 17. I can’t believe time has flown so fast.

I never knew how wonderful, frustrating, exhilarating and annoying motherhood could be when I had him.

I so long to hold him and never let him go, which is so unlike me. When he was born, I refused to see or hold him. I admit, the first words out my mouth, when he was born was, “He’s ugly!”. I exclaimed these words as the Doctor pulled him out of my stomach.  He wasn’t what I expected, the birthing experience wasn’t what I expected. It was so unlike television births. It was too much. I was a single mother and extremely overwhelmed.

I had postpartum depression.

At the time I had no idea what that meant. I just knew being a mother was not as wonderful as other people said it was.  IT. WAS. HARD.

He didn’t sleep at night which meant neither did I. I was extremely sleep deprived. I was also sad because of my break up, disappointed that I was not producing enough milk to breastfeed, and mourning the loss of my two cousins’ babies. 

I should have been happy. Karl survived because of an emergency C-section. I knew this, but … I wasn’t.  

I was in survival mode during the first six months of  his life. I did my duty as a mom. That was the best I could do at that time.

Eventually, that changed. I began to look at him with new eyes. How could it be that this little creature, this tiny being, was mine?  He had become my world, my reason for existing. I began to see the world differently. Friends didn’t beckon me as they once did. Parties didn’t either. I wanted to be around other mothers. I wanted to be a better mother, for him.

My teen changed my life for the better, as did my ten year old. They spur me, ignite my passion and are the reason I work so hard. I can’t imagine my life without them, here by my side, and so I find myself in a dilemma…

I have one more year before my teen goes away to college.

I’ve prepared him for the world, but forgot to prepare myself.

Click here to read my letter to my sons or read about Karl’s STRONG 16.

 


Spanish Version

Hoy mi hijo cumple 17 años. El tiempo ha volado.

Cuando tuve mi hijo, yo no sabía que siendo una mama iba ser tan maravillosa, frustrante, estimulante y molestoso.

Me encantaría abrazarlo y nunca dejarlo ir y eso no es comunión para mí. Cuando él nació, yo no quería verlo o aguantarlo. Yo admito, las primeras palabas que salieron de mi boca fueron, “¡Es feo!”. Exclamé las palabras mientras la Doctora lo estaba sacando de mi estomago. El no era lo que yo esperaba, dando luz no era lo que yo esperaba. No era como los nacimientos de televisión. Mi situación era demasiado para mí. Yo era una madre soletera y mi situación me tenía abrumada.

Yo tenía la depresión posparto.

En el momento, yo no sabía lo que significaba eso. Yo sólo sabía que ser madre no era tan maravilloso como la gente decía que era. ERA. DIFICIL.

El no dormía por la noche y yo tampoco. Yo estaba súper cansada todo el tiempo. También estaba triste porque la relación no funciono con el papa, deprimida que no estaba produciendo suficiente leche para él, y todavía sufriendo los muertes de dos bebes de mis primas.

¡Yo debía está feliz! Karl vivió porque mi hicieron una cesárea. Yo sabía eso, pero… no me daba alegría.

Yo estaba en modo de supervivencia durante los primeros seis meses de la vida de él. Yo hice lo que tenía que ser como madre, pero nada más. En ese momento era lo único que podía ser.

Con tiempo, eso cambio. Yo empecé a mirar a mi hijo con nuevos ojos. ¿Cómo podía ser que esta criatura, este pequeño ser humano, era mío? El era en mi mundo, mi razón para vivir. Empecé a ver el mundo alrededor de nosotros con nuevos ojos. Mis amistades no eran tan importantes. Fiestas tampoco. Yo quería estar rodada con otras mamas. Yo quería ser una mejor madre, para él.

Mi hijo mayor cambió mi vida para mejor, al igual que mi hijo menor.

Ellos me estimulan, encienden la pasión para luchar adentro de mi alma y son la razón por la que trabajo tan duro. No puedo imaginar mi vida sin ellos, aquí a mi lado, y por lo tanto me encuentro en un dilema…

Tengo un año más antes de que mi hijo vaya a la universidad.

Lo prepare a él para el mundo, pero se me olvido que tenía que prepárame también.

How do you define yourself?

Are you a Mom Blogger, Latina Blogger, Christian Blogger, African American Blogger, Green Blogger, Tech Blogger, etc?

When I started my blog, I did not want to be labeled. I had too many labels already. I was a mother, sister, aunt, student, employee, foodie, gardener, crafter, painter and so much more. Yet each label felt restricting. It only allowed me to fit into a specific box.  As a blogger, I didn’t want to fit into a box. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be me.

But who was I?

At the time, I did not know and because I did not know the label was given to me: Ms. Latina.

It was bestowed on me by a fellow blogger.

Ms. Latina,  a derivative of my blog name, “Latina On a Mission”.

It stuck, for better or worse.

I am now and forevermore known as Ms. Latina.

Yet I did not complain. The label fit me.  It is who I was and who I am.

I’m not tied as a Mrs. or young like a Miss. I am a Ms., with many faces.

I am a bold,  sassy, Latina.

Ageless.

What I define as Latinalicious™.

And you…

How do you define yourself?

This has been a crazy month. My debit card was stolen and my account cleaned out, I forgot to return two rented tuxs and had to pay an exorbitant amount of money, and one of my best friends was in a horrible bus accident.

That last one put everything into perspective.

All else faded once that occurred.

My other posts were scheduled this week, so this one may seem as if it’s coming out of left field. It is. I needed to get it out of my head, so here I am typing away.

One of my closest friends was in the June 1, 2011 fatal bus crash. She survived. Four others died.

She was sleeping when it occurred. Like the others, she wore no seat belt. She had confidence in the driver. It was his job to get them to New York safely. He didn’t. It seems he was sleeping right along with them.

She woke when the bus crashed, thrown like a rag doll all about. She can still hear the screams and see the glass, metal and bodies breaking. Hers included.

She thought it was a dream, a nightmare. It was her 1st time traveling by bus. She couldn’t believe it was true.  

When the bus came to a stop, she tried to get up. She soon discovered she couldn’t move, couldn’t walk. Her leg was mangled. It lay in an unnatural position, unable to support her, hanging from her body.

Her voice, mingled with others, crying for help. She wanted to get out but couldn’t. The legs that danced with joy on the church stage, could not hold her up any longer.

She told me later the bus driver carried her out. He placed her on the road before going back to help others.

She was in shock. All around her was destruction. Screaming and wailing, twisted, broken bodies.  Four died that day, including one sitting in her assigned seat. It could have been her.

She can’t get the carnage out of her head. She can no longer sleep. The shock of waking that night to a real life nightmare has taken away that ability. She does not feel safe. Physically, she fared better than some of the others. The newspapers noted four died that night. She was one of the lucky few who survived. God was with her. Mentally, she is taking a beating. She relives the event. She sees the broken bodies, hears the sounds of impact, feels the same terror… over and over again.  

She tried to reach me for several days on my cell phone but my voice messages were full. I hadn’t had time to clear my personal messages with all the running around I’ve been doing. She finally contacted me with a private Facebook message.

As I read it, I thanked God she was alive! She is one of my closest friends, one of my best  friends. We’ve been through so much, her and I.  She’s been my rock for so many years. She helped me through my divorce, through my trails as a single mother, dragged me to the gym every day till I lost 30lbs and made me laugh when I wanted to cry. She was my pillar of strength, the one who kept me sane these past few years. She gave me HOPE. She showed me God.

Knowing this, you would have thought that I would have ran when I heard.

I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

I was scared.

I was selfish.

I didn’t want to see her hurt. I didn’t want to think I had come so close to losing her.

It took me two days, TWO DAYS, to go visit her.

I cried. I cried for her pain, for what she endured, for her. I. Cried. For. Her. And she… she consoled me.

She reminded me that she should have been sitting where one of the victims sat. Yet a still, small voice told her to sit elsewhere.  She heeded. It saved her life.

She’s alive by God’s grace.  Her leg was saved. Metal rods placed inside to hold it together. Rods that can be seen whenever you look at her leg. It is her leg, but not her leg. She cannot walk. She cannot dance.

Yet she still sings.

She uses no words. She doesn’t have to. Her life IS the song. It sings praises to the King, day in and day out.

She is alive!

And one day, I know she will dance again.

********************

To see the extent of the accident, click below.

Did you wait till the last minute to purchase your Mother’s Day gift and now don’t know what to do? DON’T DESPAIR!

It’s not too late! Here are a few ideas that I thought were worth sharing.

• Cook a home made meal. Get ideas by downloading this Free eCookbook, featuring 28 pages of Mother’s Day recipe ideas for brunch and dessert. Click HERE to download the Free eCookbook. Don’t want to cook? Present the cookbook as a gift, including the ingredients to one of the recipes!

• LAST DAY FOR THIS ONE: 6 Gifts for Moms from Vistaprint. The Gifts are Free, you just pay shipping and processing! Click here to see the Vistaprint products.

FTD and Blooms Today have Next Day or Same Day delivery, while Restaurant.com gift certificates can be delivered electronically for those Moms that are far away. 

Use the coupons below to get the best deals!

• Blooms Today is offering 50% off off flowers and gifts for Mom! Click HERE to get your 50% Off coupon. Click HERE to get your 50% Off Blooms Today coupon

• FTD is offering up to 25% iff its Mother’s Day flowers and gifts. To get 25% off at FTD click HERE.

• Save 80% off most Restaurant.com $25 Gift Certificates! Use code MOM at checkout now through 5/8/11.

Have a fabulous Mother’s Day!

Where has the time gone? It seems like I just blinked and ten years zoomed by. Or is it just that I want to make time stand still.

It seems like just yesterday…

I was packing my bag, preparing for my scheduled cesarean. It had been a hard pregnancy. I was placed on bedrest for most of the pregnancy. I didn’t mind. I knew it had to be done. I had miscarried three times over the past 7 years. I didn’t want to take another chance.

That night my ex-husband and I cuddled, talking into the night. We knew it was a boy, the sonograms told us so. Would he look like him or me? Or a combination of us both?  We debated, laughing, as we discussed our different body parts. I can’t recall which we claimed. But I do remember we both agreed he shouldn’t dance like me.

The next day we dropped Karl, my oldest, off at school before heading to the hospital. He wanted to come but I was too afraid. In the back of my mind, I worried. What if I lost this one too? I couldn’t let him go through it again. I wanted to shield Karl, as much as I could.  The pain of the last miscarriage had hit him hardest of all.

As they prepped me, my ex-husband held my hand and tried to ease my fears. My mother, who had come along for moral support, sat quietly in a corner chair. Praying, I’m sure. At that moment, I wished I had her faith. I wasn’t a Believer back then.

The nurses left the room. I looked at the clock. It was 9am. My son, our son, would be here soon. 

At about 9:30am, I was wheeled into the operating room. My ex-husband followed. I was given anesthesia. Too much, I might add. I couldn’t even move my head. I asked my ex-husband to turn my face.  I wanted to see.

I couldn’t.

A curtain obstructed my view. But I could feel. Not the pain of the incision, but the tugging on my skin. I knew they were cutting into me.

I felt it. The pulling and tugging as they moved inside of me.

I held my breath. So did he. We looked at one another. It seemed like an eternity had passed.

Would this time be different?

Would we hear the cries?

He had fear in his eyes.

I saw it.

I felt it.

Then suddenly we heard it … a cry!

The baby was alive!

The Doctor lifted it up so we could see. It was a crying, wailing, bloodied, baby boy, with ten fingers and ten toes, and he was ours!

Our family was complete.

Fast forward ten years.

We’re together again, celebrating another year. It’s our son’s 10th BIRTH day.

He’s no longer a baby. He’s finally hit double digits. An age when he’s stuck between two stages, where he wants to crawl into Mommy’s arms,  yet is craving independence to show that he is no longer a child.

This birthday had to be BIG and it was, thanks to McDonald.

(Continued tomorrow)

Picture the following scenes:

Scene 1

A sabroso/savory meal cooking on the stove, soft music playing in the background, perhaps Luther Vandross singing “Never Too Much”,  Teddy Pendergrass crooning “Turn Off the Lights”, Maxwell reminding him just how “Fortunate” he is, or a more upbeat Bruno Mars belting out “Just The Way You Are”, and you … wearing a perfectly, tantalizing outfit.

The door rings. Your heart skips a beat. It’s time.

You grab a wineglass filled with Amitage, a red wine with a subtle spiciness and silky mouthfeel, as you head to the door. You take a deep breath. You’re ready.

You swing the door open. His eyes travel over you. His face says it all. You wrap your arms around him and lovingly give him a kiss. He sighs. You giggle, hand him the wineglass, lead him inside and close the door.

Scene 2

As you open your eyes, you stretch, catlike. You lay in bed, listening. The quiet is intoxicating.

You turn slowly, savoring every movement. Your eyes fall on your husband. He looks so serene, so unlike his waking demeanor. He’s been having such a hard time at work. They laid off a few of his co-workers and he’s been working longer hours. Stress hasn’t allowed him to get a fitful night’s sleep in a long time. It finally caught up to him last night.

Your eyes travel to the window as a soft breeze stirs the curtains. You have an idea, one you’re sure he’ll enjoy. It will let him relax, get his mind off the issues at work, while giving you and the children some time with him. You slowly get out of bed, head to the door and close it. You don’t want to wake him or the children.

It’s early enough that you can prepare a picnic basket. You make turkey empanadas, arepitas de yuca (yucca fritters) and an Edamame and Navy Bean Salad with Orange-Balsamic Dressing. It will go perfectly with a chilled bottle of Moscato, a semi-sweet white wine that compliments salads and saltier/spicier meals. Thankfully, you brought a few bottles since they cost about $12 each.  

You can’t wait! You know it will be a day to remember.

Scene 3

You’re so excited your girlfriends are coming over. It’s been so long since you’ve all gotten together.You have so much to catch up on. You can’t wait to tell them all about your trip to Santo Domingo. You met the hottest Snorkeling Instructor. Seriously, the pictures don’t do Jose justice. Sighhhhh…

After work, you run to the supermarket to pick up snacks and three bottles of Cabernet Sauvigon. You know you and your friends will enjoy a glass or two as you catch up. Not only do the hints of dark chocolate and spice make this a wonderful wine, but its also very inexpensive at $8 a bottle.

You make it home right before the bell rings. You open the door to shrieks of glee! It’s going to be a Latinalicious night, indeed.

 ********************

The above scenes remind me of the movie “French Kiss”, when Kevin Cline stated :

Just like the scenes above, wines vary. For many, like me, selecting the perfect bottle wine can be confusing.  Which wine should I choose? Red or White? Does it depend on the circumstances, as noted in the scenes above? And most importantly, at least for me, how much should I spend for a quality bottle?

I recently attended a meeting with Juan Muñoz-Oca, the Head Winemaker for Columbia Crest. During our meeting, we discussed the questions above, as well as as the origins of Columbia Crest’s reasonably priced wines, their various red and white blends, and Juan Muñoz-Oca’s lifelong passion for winemaking.

Below is a short video detailing which wines to choose based on the occasion and foods served. I apologize for the background noise. We were at a very popular New York location.

Mr. Muñoz-Oca also talked about his family and their passion for winemaking.  He came alive when he spoke about his family history. “I’ve been involved with grapes since I was a little boy – my grandfather was in the industry and his father was in the industry – it’s all I’ve known,” he said. They are a family of winemakers, receiving their very first taste (literally) shortly after birth!

Mr. Muñoz-Oca passion for wine is evident in the success he’s found as a winemaker. He also stands out because he fuses his Argentine cultura/culture into each bottle. It’s noted in the sweetness of the Moscato, the subtle spiciness of the Amitage, and the hints of chocolate and spice of the Cabernet Sauvignon. They are wines of distinction for under $12, that can be used in various scenarios, as shown above.

I raise my glass in a toast to Mr. Muñoz-Oca for pouring his love and passion into each bottle!

¡Salud!

Btw, Wine when taken in moderation is a proven stress reliever, romance builder, and great for the heart. In fact, the American Heart Association has stated that it can produce “small increase in HDL cholesterol”. What an incentive to partake in a glass or two a week.

 ********************

Disclosure: I was not compensated for the above review. I did, however, receive wine for review. I used the wine in one of the above scenes. I’ll stay mum as to which one!

Photo Credit

Japan suffered tremendous devastation on March 11, 2011. Countless people are missing and more than 8,649 are confirmed dead. The numbers are sure to rise as time progresses. They are in dire need of help, our help.

Below I have compiled a list of 5 ways that we can all help Japan without spending a dime. If, however, you can afford to donate to Japan’s relief fund, I strongly suggest you do. 

Points

• Use your credit card and travel points to help earthquake victims in Japan. Two companies that will allow you to donate points and will match member donations are Hilton HHonors and American Express. 

Swagbucks

• Swagbucks is an online search engine that allows web users to earn virtual currency by doing the things they do every day – search the web and shop at their favorite retailers. Members can trade their virtual currency for cash, giftcards, apparel and more. Members can  now also donate their virtual currency to Japan’s relief fund.  To donate your swagbucks to Japan click HERE.
• If you’re not a member, you can easily join Swagbucks by clicking HERE.When you join you will get 30 Swagbucks to start you off. You can donate the 30 swagbucks to Japan immediately.

Charitable Clicking

• GoodSearch is a Yahoo powered search engine that donates 50% of the revenue genetarated on their searches engine to a charity of your choice. Simply select the organization you would like to help and begin your search! Click HERE to see a list of charities raising money for Japan.

Shop

• Shop at sites like like GoodShop and iGive.com, who donate up to 30% and 26%, respectively, of every purchase made via their site to a charity of your choice. Both sites also provide you with store coupons and promotions to maximize your savings when shopping.

Volunteer

• Good old fashion sweat is always needed! Help create packages, make calls or drop off/pick up supplies. Inquire at your local church, school, or local Red Cross for more information.

Can you think of other ways to help Japan without spending a dime?

Disclosure: If you sign up for Swagbucks using my link, I will get swagbucks each time you do – up to 1,000. I plan to donate those swagbucks to Japan. I hope you will too.

Today I heard screaming, loud, terrified, screaming, coming from my neighbor’s apartment. The wails were piecing, but not more so, than the baby’s screams, or the sounds of objects being flung to the floor. 

I grabbed a broom and banged on the cement ceiling, hoping it would stop what I feared was happening.

It did not.

Instinct made me run, barefoot, in pajamas, without heed to my own well being, up the stairs. I banged on the walls as I ran. I feared for the lives of the woman and child. The door opened immediately. A man, wearing a black coat and hat, popped his head out as I asked if everything was alright.

“Yes, everything is fine.”, he said, in an irritated voice before slamming the door shut.

I didn’t believe him.

The women’s wails and baby’s cries from inside gave another story. I could not understand her. She does not speak English. Yet the words were not important, the fear was.  It was fear that caused me to run back down the stairs. It resonated within my soul and called me to action. I could not stand by and let those cries go unanswered.

I called the police.

This is not the first time it has occurred or the first time I have called for help.

I know it won’t be the last.

May God keep her till she finds the courage to leave.

NOTE: I’m writing this post as the Police interrogate the man animal above me. They arrived within 5 minutes of my calling. I know I did the right thing, yet a part of me still fears that this will only make it worse for the woman and child. I pray I am wrong.

What would you have done? Would you have called?

Are you a Mommy in need of some “ME” time? Do you feel as if you are losing yourself because you give and give and give to everyone but yourself? Do you need want some time to reconnect with yourself? As a single Mom, I can tell you I do!

I love my sons dearly. They mean the world to me. I can’t imagine my life without them. However, I know that time away from them, does us all good. It allows me to recharge and to regroup so that I can be the best Mom possible.

Mia Redrick, Mom Stratergist and Author, understands our dilemma. She knows we want to be there for our family. She understands that some of us even feel guilty when we can’t. She also knows that many of us need that extra push to get us to schedule time for ourselves. That’s why she is teaming up with Panera Bread to offer TEN (10) Mom groups a special chance to get involved with a “A Time for mom-Me” group.

The selected groups will receive the following perks:

• Free copy of Mia Redrick book titled, Time for mom-Me: 5 Essential Strategies for A Mother’s Self-Care
• Complimentary beverages per scheduled group visits at your Neighborhood Panera Bread Bakery-Cafe.
• Free online guided exercises to support your weekly self-care discussions.
• Reserved seating at your Neighborhood Bakery-Cafe to gather and share with your TFMM group.

If you don’t have a group yet, no worries!  Just get one together and submit your application before Feb. 14, 2011.

Click HERE to create your own group and get some “mom-Me” time!

I put in an application for ten women. Should I win I would love to get a group of diverse NYC women together for this opportunity. Let me know if you want to be included in my group in a comment. Its not guaranteed but if I win, I’ll let you know!

*Besos*

Disclosure: Said post contains an Amazon affiliate link. Purchasing an item via said link will help support Latina On a Mission without costing you a cent!

Lately I’ve had to travel more than usual. I’m not complaining about the flying, per se. It actually breaks up the monatony of my everyday life.

No, that’s not the issue.  

The issue is the airport’s  new body scanners at Newark Airport, scanners that one day will be installed at all airports.  

Photo from The Life Files

The body scanners show a nude virtual image of all your nicks and crannies. Flyer beware: Chichos/Love handles are no longer sacred!  

What about the radiation exposure? There haven’t been enough studies to determine how it will affect travelers, especially those who travel often.  

Shy or worried about radiation? You do have another option. The full body pat down, done with palmed hands, not the back of hands as was previously done. They will feel and cup every inch of you and I do mean EVERY inch so blushers beware. Shoot, maybe I should pick the full body pat down  instead, as it will provide me with the most action I’ve seen in awhile! 

But seriously, it seems like both options will be invading some aspect of our lives. As a traveler, I’m undecided. Which should I choose?  

Wait, don’t tell me yet. Watch the below video. They bring up some interesting points that start at 1:51 and 2:28 but I suggest you listen to the entire show. 

Which would you choose?

Today I looked in the mirror and saw the child within.

She giggled behind pudgy little hands, her eyes alight with glee, dancing on two little feet as she gazed at me.

“What will we do today?” she asked in her singsong voice.

Can we wear our red dress with Dorothy’s red shoes?

Can we skip and play as we go about our day? 

“No” I said.

We have too much to do.

We have to take the boys to school, than off we go about our day.

The bills will not wait,” I say.

Oh that’s ok. We’ll make friends along the way. We’ll laugh and chat as we skip along. The sun is bright, let’s not delay!

“No. No.” I say.

No laughing or chatting.

It’ll pull us away from what must be done today.

We can’t skip either. We’re too grown for that. What will the people say?

The girl in the mirror stopped mid step.

She seemed perplexed, amazed and vexed.

Her mind just could not see why it mattered so much to me.

Than out of her mouth came a small, small voice…

“Please explain it to me.” 

Surely, she could see, she was no longer me.

The playing, the laughter, the skipping, the banter, those days are done for me.

The bills await.

I can’t be late.

As I turn to go about my day, I hear her one last plea…

“I’ll be waiting! Please don’t forget about me!”

My aunt, Titi Tere, died of breast cancer.

As a young woman, she enjoyed going to the beach and tanning. Summer was her time! It didn’t matter what was going on in her life, she always found the time to tan. I don’t think she was aware of the dangers. If she was, she didn’t care. To her, a sunburn was a sign of youthfulness, beauty, and vitality. It gave her a glow and made her feel attractive, that is until she went to the doctor. He  discovered an unusally shaped birthmark. It was skin cancer.

He removed it before it spread or at least thats what we thought. I can’t recall how, I was too young,  but I do know everyone thought she was out of danger.

Sadly, she wasn’t.

During my early twenties, she developed breast cancer.  It was devastating. She did radiation, had a breast removed, and tried other home remedies. It was too late. The cancer had advanced and entered other organs.

I recall those days as if they were yesterday. I wish I didn’t. She suffered. A LOT.  

The radiation treatment was hard on her body. She lost her hair,  couldn’t eat and got progressively worse. She was extremely bloated. Her head grew rounder and larger, while her body shrunk smaller and smaller. My Titi, my wonderfully funny, vivacious, caring Titi, was dying before my eyes.  Yet her eyes, her beautiful eyes, never lost their brilliance or their humor.

She was a warrior. Going headlong into battle, keeping all the fears that were threatening to engulf the family at bay. She cut them down with laughter and her amazing wit. She became our shield, protecting us when we should have been protecting her.

During that time, I discovered I was pregnant. I was also unwed. Titi Tere was the first one to know about my teen. She was my champion. The one who stood by me, holding me up,  as my family desserted me for conceiving my precious child out of wedlock. I still recall her laying in that hospital bed, using the little bit of energy she had to persuade the others to see reason, to tell them they could not force me to abort my child. She knew the value of life. She was fighting for her own.

She failed in her persuasions, just as her body failed her. Her body was racked with pain and suffering but her mind, her spirit, fought to the end. She was not only a survivor, she was a fighter. Her fight was an inspiration, her battle a curse…one that so many women face today.  

October is breast cancer awareness month. I go pink for Titi Tere. I go pink for all the Sisters, Mothers, Aunts, Friends that are affected by this disease.

I also want to support the companies that do as well, like Ralph Lauren.

Ralph Lauren created the Pink Pony initiative, 10 years ago in an effort to raise awareness.

The company also launched its first Pink Pony Online Auction in partnership with luxury charity auction site charitybuzz. The auction will showcase over 300 unique items and once-in-a-lifetime experiences allowing bidders to step into the world of Ralph Lauren with items ranging from luxury travel, art, sports, fashion and rare collectibles. 100% of net proceeds from this auction will benefit the Pink Pony Fund of The Polo Ralph Lauren Foundation. The online auction runs through October 21st at www.charitybuzz.com/RalphLauren

Pink Pony supports programs for early diagnosis, education, treatment and breast cancer research. It  is dedicated to bringing patient navigation and quality cancer care to medically under served communities. Sadly, Latinas are a huge part of that community. For that reason I applaud Ralph Lauren for giving ten percent of the Pink Pony product proceeds to the Pink Pony Fund.

I may have lost Titi Tere to breast cancer but her legacy continues in what she taught me during her last days. She taught me that we cannot accept the status quo. We must fight even when it looks bleak.

We must fight for what is right regardless of what battles we, ourselves, may be facing.

Fighting Breast Cancer is right.

THIS. IS. RIGHT.  

Disclosure: I am a participant in a Mom Central Consulting campaign for Ralph Lauren and have received various Ralph Lauren products as part of my participation.

Bullying is nothing new. Our children face it and sometimes even as adults. We’re taught to remove ourselves from the situation and the tormentor, yet with cyberbullying that is nearly impossible.

Cyberbullying has changed the dynamics. It has taken bullying to the next level, made it more vicious and crueler than ever before. A person can no longer avoid the tormentor by removing themselves from the situation. They can now text you, Facebook you, tweet you, IM you, AIM you, and even livestream their torment, as they did with Tyler Clementi.  

Sadly, Tyler could not overlook the torment and shame he felt was being inflicted on him and decided to take his life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. Before he did so, he changed his Facebook status. It stated:

Jumping off the gw bridge sorry

I can’t imagine the torment his family must have felt when reading that status. Even worse, they are now faced with the tormentors’ cropping up after his death, rubbing salt in the wound. The ones that are mocking him, like this newly created Facebook Page (shown below) and the tinypic.com picture (Warning: Vulgar). 

Bullying doesn’t stop until confronted. We cannot bring Tyler Clementi back, but we can band together to ask Facebook and tinypic.com to remove the page and graphics.

Will you take a stand with me?

This week I am sharing a video that a friend, Annette, shared on Facebook. It is a beautiful reminder to those who feel invisible.

Quote from Video:

“… it was as if I heard God say, “I see you. You are not invisible to me. No sacrifice is too small for me to notice. I see every cupcake baked, every sequin sewn on and I smile over every one. I see every tear of disappointment when things don’t go the way you want them to go…”

I discovered this week’s quote on the Tea & Honey Bread blog which is writted by T.Allen-Mercado. 

May it speak to you as much as it did to me!

This week’s inspirational quote plays tribute to Cathy Guisewite, the creator of the Cathy Comic Strip which is finally being put out to pasture. I hate to see you go Cathy! You made me feel so normal!

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”

~Cathy Guisewite

Where you a Cathy fan? How do you feel about the strip retirement?

I love quotes. They are wonderfully catchy reminders that help me retain a certain outlook throughout the week. This weeks quote is noted below. May it speak to you as well!

Taken from Acts of Faith: Daily Meditations for People of Color

I love this little girl! She’s become a viral hit and an inspiration on how we should view life. 

Enjoy, than repeat after Jessica, “I can do ANYTHING good, better than anyone, better than anyone! ”

I love quotes. They are wonderfully catchy reminders that help me retain a certain outlook throughout the week. This weeks quote is noted below. May it speak to you as well!

Taken from Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul: Stories to Open the Heart and Rekindle the Spirit (Chicken Soup for the Soul)*

*Affiliate

Words every woman should live by!

In keeping with the holiday weekend, I have chosen a quote by one of the founding fathers. Have a safe and happy 4th of July!

I love quotes. They are wonderfully catchy reminders that help me retain a certain outlook throughout the week. This weeks quote is noted below. May it speak to you as well!

I love quotes. They are wonderfully catchy reminders that help me retain a certain outlook throughout the week. This weeks quote is noted below. May it speak to you as well!

A close friend of mine recently forwarded an email from a co-worker. As a mother, it saddened my heart  to read it. As a Latina, it called me to action. It forced me to look at myself, at my children, and reevaluate my life.

While I fight with my children over a messy room, Denise Lopez fights for her 6 month old daughter’s life.

While I look at my sons’ faces and see a future, Denise Lopez looks at her daughter Sophia and prays for one.

When strangers pass my sons in the street, they are just that… strangers.

For Sophia, that stranger could be a lifesaving match.

It puts life in perspective.

Six month old Sophia Lopez needs a bone marrow transplant. Four months ago, she was diagnosed with HLH, a rare blood disease that affects just one child per million. Sophia is that one child.  Her only hope for survival is a bone marrow transplant.  As a Puerto Rican, Sophia has a slim chance. Latinos make up just 10% of the national registry and are very genetically diverse. Her parents haven’t given up hope. They believe that her lifesaving match can be found if we rally. I do too.

If you are Hispanic, make a difference.

Change a life.

Help.

Come out and register as a bone marrow donor. All it takes is a cotton swab swipe inside your mouth to determine if you are a match for 6 month old Sophia.

BONE MARROW DONOR DRIVE
Saturday, May 22, 2010,
10:00 AM – 4:00 PM
P.S. 71 – Rosa E. Scala School
3040 Roberts Ave., Bronx, NY 10461

Subway Directions: Take 6 train to Buhre Ave.

“I want my precious little girl to be saved. She’s my only daughter. I want her to be able to play with her brothers like the way she did when she was born. Before this happened, she was so happy, and loved to laugh. But now, she just cries in pain. It hurts me so much to see her like this. I want my princess to live.” Denise Lopez –Sophia’s mom

Questions? Contact Flora Mendoza at flora (AT) dkmsamericas.org

I love quotes. They are wonderfully catchy reminders that help me retain a certain outlook throughout the week. This weeks quote is noted below. May it speak to you as well!

I love quotes. They are wonderfully catchy reminders that help me retain a certain outlook throughout the week. This weeks quote is noted below. May it speak to you as well!

I love quotes. They are wonderfully catchy reminders that help me retain a certain outlook throughout the week. This weeks quote is noted below. May it speak to you as well!

As noted in a previous post, I was able to admire the new Hallmark Kids Collection at Blissdom at the Hallmark booth. Hallmark writer Sarah Mueller who helped develop their new line was on hand to show me several of the cards.

In the video below, we discussed the importance of encouraging children and how I have used cards to encourage mine over the years.

Want to share one with a child in your life?  Click HERE to find out how to get a FREE Hallmark Kids Collection card! 

Enjoy!

Note: I have to thank Corvida of SheGeeks.net for taking my sons to lunch while I was at the event.  Corvida’s passion for social media and all that it entails is inspiring to see!  Click HERE to go to her site.

There are a slew of great organizations helping Haitians in Haiti. However, it did not just affect the Haitians in Haiti, many residing within New York City have been adversely affected as well. As such, I am happy to announce that NYC has opened the New York Haitian Earthquake Family Resource Center. It is comprised of several agencies, including The Salvation Army.

The Salvation Army has been in Haiti since 1950 running 60 community centers, 49 schools and several orphanages and clinics with over 700 staff. They recently distributed 550,000 meals in 4 hours – just one of the many big projects they’ve been coordinating in Haiti; however, your continued help is still needed. It can be provided at www.salvationarmyusa.org, 1-800-SAL-ARMY or by texting  HAITI to 52000 to donate $10.

The Center, with support from The Salvation Army, will include the below noted services.

• Creole-speaking interpretation services;
• Assistance with completing Temporary Protected Status applications and other immigration-related assistance;
• Access to telephones to contact appropriate federal and Haitian officials;
• Use of computers for consulting a broad range of websites, including New York State’s Registry of New York Citizens in Haiti;
• Child guardianship and custody services;
• Legal information; and
• Grief counseling

Assessments are also being done at the end of a family’s visit to the center to see if there are outstanding needs that could be met in the future. 

Please click HERE to view the google document.

Note, the Center will not take donations of cash or goods.

I read a lot of blogs. Many times as I read I think, “I know that feeling, its happened to me!”  Its at those time when I wish I was able to speak directly to the writer and say, “It’ll be OK. I know.”

When I was hungry, someone came along and brought me food, bags and bags of food. When I was thrown out and cast aside, feeling  forgotten and unloved, a long lost Titi /Aunt raised me as her own.  When facing eviction with a 3 year old son, I received an unexpected check. It was enough to cover the rent. When I was in court defending my son, feeling terrified and alone, crying in despair, a stranger prayed with me. When as a new driver, I  drove over 50 miles, with my sons in the backseat, at 2 a.m. forgetting to put on my headlights, weaving in and out of traffic and crying with despair, I made it to my destination…unscathed. There are so many other times I can name but suffice it to say, I survived. My boys and I survived.

Along the way, I learned I’m not alone. I never was. There was always a hand guiding me, rescuing me, holding me. When I thought I couldn’t go any further, it nudged me and yes sometimes even shoved me!   

Now that I understand, I can vocalize it. It was God keeping us all along. So when friends ask, “How can you be so happy and cheery when you’ve gone through so much?” I reply, “Because of  Him.”

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29.11 (NLV) 

Powerful: having great power, authority, or influence

******************** 

Powerful, as defined by dictionary.com, means having great power, authority or influence. The wielder of such power can sway others towards something better, something greater, something higher.  By building others, it creates power in others.  Yet this doesn’t take away from the wielder’s power, in fact, it increases it, enabling the cycle to continue, growing larger and larger with each turn.

We are all wielders of power. We wield power over our children, our families, our friends. Yet some take that power to another level, using their influence to plant a seed, nurturing and watering it as it grows into the maginifcant Palm Tree it’s meant to be!

Pine-Sol has created a wonderful program to celebrate those who are using their power to make “A Powerful Difference”. The Pine-Sol Powerful Difference program first started in 2007. Since that time the program has awarded dozens of grants to over 80 difference makers.  This year they are continuing the program, where they will award grants online to women who are helping improve their communities and are making extraordinary change.

One grand prize winner will receive $10,000 to make a powerful difference for their community or cause and an additional nine finalists will receive $1,000 to help support their initiatives. To be eligible, entrants must apply online at www.PowerfulDifference.com by March 22, 2010.

Below I have noted the requirements to enter:

• Upload an essay, of 200 words or less,  on how you are making a powerful difference in your community

• 1 grand prize winner will receive $10,000 to make a powerful difference for their community and be featured in EBONY magazine.

• 9 top finalists will receive $1,000 to help support their community initiatives.

A panel of judges will then select the 10 Powerful Difference Maker finalists based on originality, creativity and relevance to theme, but ultimately it will be up to the general public to help vote for the lucky grand prize winner. People can vote daily for their favorite essay from April 7-21, 2010. The grand prize winner will be announced by May 5, 2010.

Click HERE to go to the Powerful Difference website.

Good luck to all my POWERFUL readers!

Do you recall the movie Hook with Robin Williams as Peter Pan?  He and his pals, the Lost Boys, grew up in Neverland, a place where most stayed children forever, never growing up, escaping all the responsibilities that come with age. Eventually they were “rescued” and did grow up. When they did, one particular Lost Boy, Toodles, was seen searching for his lost marbles. He searched high and low for that sack of marbles, to no avail!

Everyone believed Toodles had gone senile. Yet Toodles only appeared senile because no one knew the secret of those marbles. I like to think I do. I think each marble in that bag represented a possibility, a hope,  for Toodles. Without his marbles or “possibilities”, he was lost!

Just like Toodles, I use marbles to visualize my possibilities. Each year, I place 365 marblesin a vase. Each marble represents a day. In the evening, I remove one marble from the vase, reflecting on my day. As time passes, the vase gets emptier, reminding me that each day is precious…my marbles are precious. Unlike Toodles, a fictitious character, my marbles can be lost or ”wasted”, but they can never be found.  They are irreplaceable.

In this game of marbles, you don’t need to “knuckle down” and there are no  “keepsies”.   One marble must be used every day. Each one bringing a fresh start,  a hope, a possibility. 

Now that you know the secret, how will you make your marbles count?  

My vase with 4 marbles left for the year

Do you recall the “Love Is. . .” cartoons by Kim Casali? They were a collection of cartoons expressing what “Love is…” As a young girl, I recall enjoying those cartoons and thinking that is how my mate would treat me. Yet reality is very different from cartoons for some tweens and teens. It is hurtful, abusive, and violent.

On December 3, 2009, Liz Claiborne held their annual event, “Time to Talk”*. The event aimed to bring teen relationship abuse to the forefront, with several domestic violence experts, as well as parents and teens who had experienced it firsthand.

While at the event, I was able to speak with several domestic violence experts, including Stephanie Nilva, the Executive Director of Day One.  She explained that one in three teens will experience relationship abuse in some shape or form. The numbers are even more saddening when you take into account the unreported abuse. For this reason, parents need to discuss this issue with their children while they are young. Instilling in their child what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior provides them with knowledge that can save them. Trust must also be established while they are young so that they will not be afraid to seek help. If, however, your children are already tweens and teens, Ms. Nilva stressed the importance of being very open, patient and non-judgemental when discussing relationship abuse. Doing so, will give them the opportunity to open up if they are already in such a relationship.

However, parents must do more than talk. They must listen. Bincy Jacob, of My Sisters’ Place, brought up this  important reminder when she stated, “Teens are already marginalized. They are silenced in so many ways.”   By gaining their voice, they can vocalize what is occuring and can than seek help.

Sadly, 17 year old Aneese Michelle Rivera did not find her voice in time. She was murdered by her boyfriend and two of his friends on October 3, 2008. Martiza Rivera, her Aunt and a New York State Action Leader for a  national coalition called MADE: Moms and Dads for Education to Stop Teen Dating Abuse, spoke to me about their ordeal.  As noted by Maritza, “friends and family all saw the warning signs but didn’t know where to go or what to do for help … I firmly believe that had there been any kind of education or awareness made regarding Teen Dating Violence and Abuse in the community, media and especially in the schools that Aneese and all the other victims who have fallen prey to their abusers, would still be with us today.”  Watch the video below. Hear the story in Maritza’s own words.

Learn the signs. Empower yourself. Discuss it with your children.  Join MADE: Moms and Dads for Education to Stop Teen Dating Abuse. Sign the pledge. Raise awareness in your community. End teen dating abuse. 

Click below to download FREE copies of the following books or pamphlets:

• Tough Talk: What boys need to know about relationship abuse
• A Parent’s Guide to Teen Dating Violence: 10 Questions to Start the Conversation
• What You Need to Know About Dating Violence: A Teen’s Handbook
• A Woman’s Handbook: A Practical Guide to Discussing Relationship Abuse
• A Parent’s Handbook:How to Talk to Your Children About Developing Healthy Relationships
• Informational Brochures in English and Spanish
• The ‘No More’ Fact Sheet

If you are a teen in an abusive relationship (ages 13-18), you can call The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline (NTDAH) at 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 for the Deaf, Deaf-Blind and Hard of Hearing. It is a 24-hour national web-based and telephone resource serving all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. You can also initiate a live chat by clicking HERE.

*Disclosure: I received a $50 Juicy Couture gift card for participating in Liz Claiborne’s “Time To Talk” event.

This week I am featuring a family who has inspired me with their story. They are using their grief to help others who may be going through similar circumstances. I applaud and join with them in their fight!

As parents, we want to believe that we can move mountains for our children.  Yet sometimes it isn’t always possible, unless we have help. That is why I will match up to a hundred dollars donated to the Playroom of  Hope. Will you join in a tax deductible gift?  If you aren’t able to donate, grab the Playroom of Hope badge found on their website and spread the word! Either way, leave me a comment below because together we can move this mountain!

Click HERE to see the Wallace story in the news.

Click HERE to go to the Playroom of Hope blog, a non-profit organization.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

~Mahatma Ghandi

If you would like to nominate a blog, person, company or product for the Inspirational Feature please click HERE

Are you different? Do you sometimes feel as if you do not fit in? Or perhaps try too hard to fit the mold? If so, thats ”The Beauty of Different”.

Karen Walrond, a keynote speaker at Blogalicious 2009, tried to fit the mold for several years. She followed the pattern most of us were taught: attend college, obtain a degree(s), join the workforce and climb the ladder. By society’s standard she had achieved the American Dream. She was prosperous, earning a salary most of us would envy, with material goods that many of us will never see. Yet was she happy? No. She cried every morning before going to work, had anxiety and wasn’t centered. Worth it? Not on your life.    

Karen was different. She felt it. Others did as well. As she stated, “I wasn’t what they expected.” Yet this difference made her stand out. It wasn’t a detriment because she didn’t let it become one. Do you?

Look around you.

What do you see?

I see people of all shapes and sizes, rushing through life, racing to get to the finish line. A line that never seems to get any closer then it was before they started the race. The money, the cars, the houses all seem to get grander as they shrink and shrivel.

What do you see?

I see a select few, daring to be different. A pep in their step, a radiant smile, a joy that cannot be absconded. They do not race along or wear the masks. They are a splash of color in a world of gray. They. Are. Different. 

What do you see?

Look in the mirror.  Embrace yourself.

Then dare to be different,  dare to be beautiful, dare to be you. 

Luncheon and afternoon keynote by Karen Walrond was sponsored by  Disney Interactive Studios.

Before I went into Corporate Law, I worked in ECAB in the District Attorney’s Office. ECAB (Early Case Assessment Bureau), is where felony and misdemeanor cases are evaluated and complaints are drafted. As a paralegal in the department, I interrogated victims, witnesses, and the police officers who conducted the arrests. I collected the information that was presented before the Grand Jury, speaking to the individuals when they were most raw and vulnerable. During that time I dealt with a variety of cases; however,  because of my demeanor I was eventually handed most of the Domestic Violence cases. It was a hard job, extremely draining because of the types of emotional and physical abuse I witnessed. They were not limited to abusive husbands beating on wives. They also included wives abusing husbands, children abused by parents, and elders abused by children.

This week was a particularly hard week for me. A loved one, who I cherish dearly is battling abuse. This person did not come to me but instead reached out to another “friend”. She was ashamed and frightened, with no money and no place to go. She showed up at this “friend’s” door and was allowed to stay for a few days but than told she had to go back. She left and returned to the abusive relationship.

I am devastated! I spoke to her but she said she had to go back because she had no place to go. I offered my residence but she does not want to place me and my children in the middle. I desperately want to help her but she will not allow me.

I am also very upset with the person she approached. I cannot believe that this individual allowed her to go back to that home. 

As someone who saw firsthand what can happen in these cases, I am scared for her. It takes courage for a victim to leave. It takes courage for the victim to reach out.  It takes courage for a victim to HOPE. If its not received at that time, the abused person may not seek help again, believing that is their lot.  I am praying that she will reach out again. In fact, I am praying for all the other individuals going through these same situations.

Please know that you are valuable. You are important and you do deserve a better life.

As for the individuals they approach for help, please keep in mind that your hand may be the only one they have the strength to reach for. Please don’t turn them away.

Courtesy of G.I.R.L.S.

While watching one of my favorite television shows, it was pleasantly interrupted by an ad singing the song “Grandma’s Hands” as it depicted a grandmother enjoying a moment with her grandchildren. As I enjoyed this short drama, I envisioned my own grandmother and thought about the things she taught me and the values she instilled in me. She made sure I attended church every Sunday and molded me into the fine woman I am today.

This fast-paced and overburdened era that we live in today provides little time to spend “quality time” with our grandmothers. “Grandma’s Hands” provided the backbone of our culture upbringing and marked the beginning of generations of great women.

So my Latinalicious sisters, in honor of Mother’s Day which is fast approaching, think about a special grandmother – either yours or someone else’s and do something nice for her. Also, don’t forget your mom and yourself, for we all deserve to be treated special not just on this day but everyday.

Over the years women have been led to believe that no matter what the circumstance, we can do and have it all.  We continually prove this by running around all day attempting to complete one job after another, and never saying “no” to the constant favors we are asked to do.  From birth we are groomed to be the cook, maiden, beautician, sex kitten, wife, mother, teacher, homework assistant, nurse psychologist, transporter, entertainer, healer carpenter and the list goes on.  While all of these things that we do are wonderful, are they necessary? Can we say no to the many unwanted requests?  How many women can stand up to the daily pressures of giving and providing without eventually becoming burned out or consumed with illnesses?

Sometimes women’s lives may feel as if they running on a treadmill and are unable to get off.  They may feel as if they are constantly moving, but can never get ahead or get any task completed. This leads to overload, fatigue, exhaustion, weight problems, stress, confusion, insomnia, hypertension and a host of other problems.  My advice for you today is to stop trying to be a superwoman and start trying to be a list chopper.  Deal with the major needs of life and chop off those minor issues that move you off course.  Those things arise to drain and deplete us of our energy, beauty, youth, creativity and productivity.

Try this for a week – before going to bed at night, make a list of chores of things you would like to accomplish for the next day.  The first one to five hundred things on the list (it does seem that long right?) should range from being the absolute most important to the least important. You will discover that by the end of your week, by chopping off the least important items from your list you would have created more “me time” for yourself.

That “me time” can be used to enjoy a cup of herbal tea, take a long walk, exercise or go to the gym, get a massage, watch your favorite television show, get your hair done, get that badly needed manicure/pedicure, write in your journal, read a book, get your sexy on, or whatever you do to enjoy yourself. 

Remember my Latinalicious sisters don’t sacrifice your own well-being, you were born to be beautiful, energetic and happy, so in remembrance of this – stop being superwomen and become list choppers, creating a better, more fulfilled and happier you!

I balance my checkbook every week but once a month I do a total overhaul. This means I pull out all my monthly bills, review the terms and rates then enter them into my trusty excel chart and voilà! I have my debt to income ratio. Its a work of art. Ok it really isn’t but it keeps me on track so I love it! This chart’s very important for me because I am a visual person. I need to see the breakdown or I may relapse into my old spending habits.

This month while looking over my excel chart, I saw a note I  had written about my car insurance. It said that I would be up for a good driving discount in 2009. I was ecstatic! That discount would cut my annual bill by $100 or more. This may not seem like much to you but I saw visions of shoes floating in my head!

I called No Name Insurance and spoke to a very nice woman we will call “China”.  Why? I don’t know, its the only thing I could think of while writing this. Pero oye dejame terminar la estoria/But listen let me finish telling you my story!

The conversation went a little like this:

China: ThankyouforcallingNoNameInsuranceThisisChinaHowcanIhelpyou?

Ms. Latina: Huh? (Note: I hadn’t had my cafe yet) Can you repeat that you were speaking too quickly.

China: *Sigh* Thank … you… for … calling… NO… NAME… INSURANCE…This … is… China…How…can…I…help…you?

Ms. Latina: (thinking wow do you think she was being sarcastic?!) Hi China, I’m calling to inquire about getting the Good Driver rate reduction.

China: Let me look into that for you.

Ms. Latina: I’m so excited! I wrote myself a reminder and it says I should be eligible this year.

China: *PAUSE* After reviewing your account, it looks like you had an accident in May 2004. You won’t be eligible for the discount till May 2009; however,since you renewed your policy this past February you will have to wait till the policy expires to get the reduction.

MsLatina:  Huh? (ever the eloquent one) But I don’t understand. Can I call in May and have the reduction pro-rated for the remainder of the policy?

China then proceeded to tell me I could not. We hung up shortly thereafter.

Now you must be wondering where the frozen chicken comes in right?

You may be thinking I threw it at the phone in a fit of rage or even that I decided to cook up a scrumptious meal to get the images of the shoes I lost out of my head but I was thinking about the accident I had forgotten.

It was a warm sunny day in Long Island, where I used to live in my Mrs. Latina days. I was out for a solitary drive. I had the sunroof open in my new car, with the windows down and a new CD, the Black Eyed Peas, playing in the stereo. I was jamming on that LIE, no not a lie, the Long Island Expressway! When out of the corner of my eye, I see a frozen chicken wrapped nice and tight on the side of the road. For some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off that chicken! I was mesmerized. 

Now I can’t recall for certain what I was thinking but I’m sure it was- what the heck is a frozen chicken doing on the side of the road?!

As my mind is wrapping itself around that I hear a huge BAMMMMM! Ms. Latina hit not one, but FOUR cars, with her no longer new looking car, causing a BIG pile-up on that very sunny Saturday morning and an even BIGGER raise in my insurance!

What do you get out of this story? I’ll tell you. 

Always, always, always look out for the chicken but don’t get stuck on it,  like I did,  because in life there’s always a chicken around that will cause you to lose sight of your goal!