4 Tips to Deal With Back-to-School Stress

Now that students have officially gone back to school, the juggling act between homework, studying and hectic schedules has begun. With 85 percent of teens reporting that stress levels directly affect school performance, it’s vital that we arm our children with tools to help keep them cool when the school stress heats up.

Latina On a Mission partnered with the Post-it Brand and the nation’s leading child, education and parenting expert, Dr. Michele Borba, to bring parents four very important tips to reduce back to school stress.

Below Dr. Michele Borba outlines her quick and simple tips to help students and parents relieve stress and be successful this school year:

1. Get enough sleep: Waking up early in the morning for school, combined with maintaining late hours for sporting practices, after-school activities or homework quickly translates into exhaustion. “Sleep is fundamental to your entire well-being,” says Dr. Borba. Keeping children on consistent sleep schedule on weekends and school vacations also promotes healthy long-term sleep habits.

2. Create a shared calendar: The school year means sporting events, music lessons, after-school activities and PTA meetings all at once. “One central calendar is crucial to keeping everyone on track and remembering appointments,” says Dr. Borba. Create a color-coded family command center to keep everyone organized. Include a family calendar for tracking schedules, family note boards for sharing messages and a storage area for saving important documents that will be needed at a later date. Post-it Full Adhesive Notes in different colors are a great way to represent each family member. These notes have a full adhesive backing that holds notes on the calendar longer, but can be removed cleanly and reposted if needed. Keeping track of all the activities will help all family members feel more at ease, reducing stress.

3. Promote the positive: Children take cues from their parents on how to handle and react to stress. Help promote positive feelings within the family by discussing what’s happening each day while around the dinner table, and by posting handwritten notes of encouragement around the house or in your children’s lunchboxes. Research also shows that praising your child’s hard work and efforts rather than the desired outcome enhances their achievement. For example, aim to give more words of encouragement commending your children on time spent studying for a big test rather than the actual score they receive on that test.

4. Become familiar with specific stress-reduction techniques: Every person handles stress in different ways, especially when it comes to kids and teenagers. Dr. Borba recommends helping your children pinpoint habits and activities that help them reduce stress, and set aside time to do these activities with them. Your teenage daughter may respond positively to yoga classes as a form of stress relief, while the long, deep breaths required to blow bubbles can be calming for many young children.

 

Let’s talk! How do you reduce back-to-school stress in your household? Share below so that we can all benefit!

 

Co-sleeping, Mommy Fail, Pre-Diabetes and a New Doggie Daycare

Dear Readers,

Life has definitely been exciting in the Latina household these past few weeks. Karl, my teen, left for college during the last week of August. It was a very emotional time for all of us! The youngest, Andrew, is still adjusting and missing him terribly. (Me too!)

We are currently co-sleeping because … I let him watch “The Shining”. What was I thinking?! He has been terrified to sleep alone since! It also doesn’t help that our hallway looks like the hotel’s hallway. Sigh.

We also missed Andrew’s 1st day of middle school. Bad Mommy moment, for sure. Silly me, I thought it started on Thursday. Actually, Tuesday was his first “unofficial” day. It is the day when students go in for half a day and get to know one other. On this day, they do not have to wear their uniform: shirt, slacks and tie. The “official” day is Thursday. On Thursday, they wear uniform and attend classes all day; however, Tuesday was still counted in their attendance record. Le Sigh x2.

And if all this didn’t have me down in the dumps, this tidbit from the Doctor surely did.  I am pre-diabetic. BOO! This has forced me to change my eating and sleeping patterns. No more blogging at 2am for this Latina! Now I am in bed no later than 11pm… on most days :)   I am also exercising again. I’m excited to say I have lost 10lbs, so far. I still have 15 more to go but I hope that those few pounds will help me reverse some of the damage. Le sigh x3.

In other news, I found a great doggie daycare! This will make my day run so much smoother. With two very active dogs, and my dog-walker- my teen – off at college, I found it was nearly impossible to get them outside for the 2-3 hours they require to be happy and healthy. If you are a dog owner, I’m sure you understand WHY I am jumping up and down with joy right now!

There are a few other things in the works, very exciting things, my blog friends. I can’t exactly let the cat out of the bag yet but it does involve a chic & cheap store that I absolutely L.O.V.E.

In the past few weeks, there is one thing I have learned and that is…

In all the chaos, there are a million brilliant possibilities…even when it seems like this Mommy has failed.

So tell me… what have you been up to?

Hugs
xo

 

New York in Pics: Who’s Your Daddy?

A reader submitted the below “Who’s your Daddy?” picture. It was taken in Washington Heights, NY. Sign of the times?

Share your thoughts in a comment!

Paternity Test | Latina On a Mission

Have an interesting New York photo you want to share? Send it to MsLatina@Latinaonaonamission.com and add New York in Pics in the Subject line.

They Need a Mother, Not Another Best Friend


Disclaimer: This post contains information that may offend readers. Views expressed herein are mine and mine alone.

Growing up, my family was poor. I never internalized that fact until I was preparing to go to High School. It was a momentous event. I was flying the coup, the Bronx, to go to another borough, and attend a specialized school, Brooklyn Tech. My mother could not have been prouder.

Knowing that my single mother did not have the funds to purchase my school clothes, I decided to do something drastic. I lied about my age to obtain a factory job. I was 13, pretending to be 16. They never asked for papers.

That job opened my eyes to more than just the working world.

I was sexually harassed every day on the job by men that could have been my older brother, father, uncle or even grandfather. Everyday I was met with catcalls. All kinds. They talked about my rump, grabbed my body in various areas and sometimes … even showed me photos of men and women in different stages of undress.

It didn’t matter that I looked like a child. It didn’t matter that I was not provocatively dressed. It did not matter if I stayed quiet, screamed at them to leave me alone, or sought help from my jefe/boss. It didn’t stop. In fact, speaking to my jefe just made it worse. They were angry now. They would not be ruled by a girl/woman.

You may be wondering why I stayed. It’s simple.  I witnessed this in varying forms while living in Puerto Rico and in New York. It was part of my community, my cultura,  full of machismo. It was “normal” to see women emotionally and/or physically abused around me.

Police refused to become involved. Many times they would tell the man to walk it off and leave the scene without arresting the perpetrator, that is until someone was drastically hurt or killed.

Or, like happened in my own family, till she lashed out and stabbed the man who abused her since she was 13. The man who swore to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, as long as they both shall live. This same man, who was approximately 30 years her senior, did none of that. His love was twisted, his thought of comfort only for himself and his many, many mistresses. She, on the other hand, at age 21, had 5 children, including the twins she had bore that past week.

Photo Source: David Castillo Dominici

As women, we have come so far and yet not far enough. We purport to want so much more for ourselves but place our daughters in the very same situations we sought to outrun. We continue the cycle. Marrying men who represent this cultura, raising boys that believe the “men will be boys” mentality, behaving as if our bodies are more important than our brains, all while allowing society to determine who our daughters are to become. I witness it day in and day out.

Our daughters need us to step up. They need mothers to speak up and out, for themselves and their children. They need parents, not  friends.

We are our daughters’ first defense. Let them be angry. Let them sulk, whine and throw tantrums because you will not allow them to wear the latest fashion trends, tell them they can no longer associate with certain “friends”, and reinforce abstinence is best, while also teaching them about safe sex practices. Let them call you old fashioned, as long as they get to become old themselves. 

Yes, it is a sad state when our daughters can not run as freely as our sons. However, I would much rather see them alive and unscathed, than buried, in a coffin or living a nightmare that has no end, because denial is running rampant.

I witnessed a lot that summer. It changed my life.  Don’t let denial change hers.

Hold her hand now so that she can soar later.

Thoughts? Share them in a comment below.

Kick Off Your Heels ’12 – Estilo Latina Recap #SMLatinas #KOYH12

On August 2, 2012, Stiletto Media, the sister company of Latina On a Mission, hosted a Latina Blogger event called “Kick Off Your Heels ’12 – Estilo Latina”. The event, sponsored by Avocados from Mexico, HP for Home, COVERGIRL, Sweet Pickles eBooks and Glitter Tattoo NY, brought together Latina Bloggers from all over the United States.

Held at Pio Pio, a Peruvian Restaurant in New York City, bloggers had an opportunity to learn about the brands, mingle with one another and enjoy Stiletto branded glitter tattoos from Corena, the Mompreneur behind Glitter Tattoo NY.

Stiletto Media KOYH 12-14
Knowing how hard bloggers work, the sponsors wanted to pamper and celebrate attendees.  Avocados from Mexico designed and created chic limited edition earrings for attendees.

Avocados from Mexico Earrings
COVERGIRL pampered our guests with COVERGIRL Outlast All Day Lipcolor. They provided fiery “Red Affair”, sultry “Nutmeg” and demure “Coral Silk”. Why? Because Latinas come in all shapes and sizes and our lipsticks should to!

COVERGIRL Outlast LipColors
Knowing our surroundings foster our creativity, HP for Home, provided bloggers with HP Faux Canvas vouchers, available exclusively at Walmart. It is a wall décor option that is light in weight, easy to hang and makes a home look and feel fabulous! Even better, attendees would be able to order and pick up in-store the same day.

HP for Home Logo
And since many of us have young ones at home, Sweet Pickles the classic, award-winning children’s books, that have been rebranded as new E-Books with vibrant artwork provided attendees with a downloadable book: Very Worried Walrus.  You can get this Latinalicious freebie yourself by going to the Apple iBookstore and downloading a copy.

Sweet Pickles eBook
We feasted on passed hors d’oeuvres: Cevichito Mixto, Lomito Saltado, Causita de Pollo and Empanaditas de Carne and had unlimited sangria and wine, which made for a pretty wild night!

Wepa! #SMLatinas in the House!
 
Kick Off Your Heels 12 - #SMLatinas
 
Stiletto Media KOYH 12-39
Some of the Ladies brought their male counterparts. I have to give them a huge thumbs up for dealing with us that evening!

Stiletto Media's Kick Off Your Heels - Estilo Latina

Stiletto's Branded Glitter Tattoo #SMLatinas

We also had fun gift baskets to giveaway! Spa, hair and nail themed baskets were raffled off to attendees because we know how hard our members work.

And the winner is...
And the shoes… O.M.G. the shoes had me swooning!

Stiletto Media KOYH 12 - Shoes, shoes and more shoes!
In between all that fun, I tried to get everyone into one photo…

Stiletto Media KOYH 12-9
But we couldn’t fit! There were just too many blogueras/Latina Bloggers at the event!

Stiletto Media KOYH 12-30

So we decided to break up into groups, and groups and groups!

KOYH 12 in New York City

Almost Ready! #SMLatinas

Stiletto Media KOYH 12-29

I’m delighted to say that the “Kick Off Your Heels ’12 – Estilo Latina” event provided bloggers with tons of networking, laughter, and fun memories … at least till next time! :)

Stiletto Media KOYH 12-19 
Abrazos!

My Pimple Beat Your Pimple!

My pimple beat your pimple!” Andrew exclaimed from the other room. The words were said with truimph and glee. I wondered what brought it on and strolled over to the other room.

The boys were having a fierce discusssion. Competition was in the air.

I was used to it. Boys, at least my boys, tend to be pretty competitive and they don’t discriminate over topics. I’ve had to be judge and jury more times than I can count. I can even recall when my readers chimed in and helped decide the winner of the Demi vs. Selena argument. Neither wants to lose. EVER.

However, this debate was decided without my interference. Andrew had won.

His pimple had won.

He  may not have chin hair, could barely lift a 20lb bag of Carolina rice and had much less underarm hair than his brother, but in the end that did not matter. Today, he had won! He had his first pimple before his brother had his.

And it was a pus filled doozer!

Let’s talk! Do you recall your first pimple? What was your reaction to it?

 

Tips for Smooth and Enjoyable Family Travel

The above photo was taken during a recent trip to Puerto Rico.

Over the years, I’ve traveled with my family countless times.  The above photo was taken on a spur of the moment trip to Puerto Rico. We’ve also gone on several road trips with the dogs. Being prepared saved my sanity and also allowed me to enjoy our time together. Through those experiences, I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t.

The tips below are universal. Regardless if you are traveling with toddlers, tweens or teens, or going on an adventure with your mate or friends these tips will make you more efficient and your travel more enjoyable. And isn’t that what travel is all about?

Prepare yourself and I’m sure you’ll have a smooth, and enjoyable, trip as well!    

 

Pre-trip strategies

  • Map your route. Don’t just think about how to get to your destination, but also pin-point scenic routes to keep the kids entertained or an area where you can enjoy a meal at a classic diner or during a lakeside picnic. Suggested resources: Google, Mapquest, or Freetrip.com
  • Don’t forget to print out your itineraries (and map)! We’ve all had those moments where our cell phone battery dies or we lose Internet or GSP connection because we’re caught in a dead zone. Print two copies of everything; keep one for yourself and hand the other to your co-pilot. Suggested resource: HP Photosmart
  • Get there early. Not being stressed about time is a rare luxury but in this case it is a variable you can control. Make sure everyone’s ready to go ahead of time so you’re not rushing and forgetting things.
  • Don’t forget to make lists! Print out a list of all the items you bring with you so you don’t lose track of anything. Each family member should have a personal packing list as well as a list of tasks to complete before leaving. Leaving a list behind for a house sitter is also a good idea. Suggested resource: Busy Moms Weekly printer app

On-the-road tactics

  • Don’t underestimate the power of a lunch box. Turn it into a “fun pack” stuffed with snacks and printables from your kids favorite Disney and Nickelodeon cartoon characters. This is your secret weapon to keeping them busy and their mouths closed. Suggested resources: Coloring pages and other activities from HP Creative Studio
  • Do keep an extra blanket in the backseat. On short and long road trips, everyone’s body temperature will be different. Remember to bring a blanket or two that you or the kids can quickly use to deflect the A/C or snuggle up as the sun sets. Suggested resources: Collage woven blanket or fleece blanket from Snapfish
  • Bring entertainment for the kids. A laptop in the car/plane provides kids with endless entertainment opportunities. Whether it’s watching a DVD or playing a game the kids will remain occupied thus making the trip run much smoother. Suggested resource: HP ENVY Sleekbook

 

Once you have arrived

  • Document the adventure. Use your digital camera to snap a photo, take some video and store it on memory card that doesn’t fill up quickly. Reduce your chances of having to delete your favorite memories just to accommodate new ones. Suggested resources: Camera memory card from SanDisk
  • Don’t forget to RELAX. You’re on vacation. Put away the cell phone and give your family your full attention. Family vacations run much smoother if everybody’s happy. 

Let’s talk! Have you used any of these ideas in your family travels? Or, do you another sure fire tip that would help us all? Share it in a comment!

Is That A Pedophile In The Park?

This past weekend my son and I went to the park to play softball. My son’s best friend was planning to meet us after he finished his chores.

Not feeling up to playing ball while we waited for his friend, I suggested he play with several of the other boys in the park. He ran off happily. As I watched him scoot off, I noticed an older man inside the ball park.

I assumed he was with one of the other boys.

Not giving it much thought, I pulled out my laptop and started working. After awhile, I noticed that the other boys had left the park.

The man was still there.

He was playing with my son.

A sixth sense kicked in. This was not normal it told me. What man takes the time to play with a child, a child that isn’t his own, for no apparent reason? Worse, what type of man hangs out at a concrete park without children of his own on a Saturday afternoon?

I quickly packed up my laptop and walked over to where my son was. He smiled and waved. The man, however, did not.

His reaction upon seeing me was to tell my son he could no longer play ball with him. He didn’t look in my direction. Didn’t acknowledge me, although I was staring straight at him.

A small voice told me to take his picture. I didn’t. He walked away too quickly.

I wish I had.

As the man left, my son walked toward me …smiling, carefree, innocent.

I motioned toward the seat near me.

I was scared for him.

No matter how many times we’ve had the talk, I knew it would not be enough.

It can NEVER be enough.

It does not matter how many times he says, “I know”. It does not matter if he rolls his eyes or exclaims he is not a child. It does not matter because he matters.

Our children matter.

We are their first defense against the evil in this world. Because evil exists. Pedophiles exist. It does not matter if you have a boy or a girl. It can happen. Jerry Sandusky is just one of many. And so I sat, and I reminded my very sweet 11 year old, that he is never to leave the park with anyone,  he must never give out his home address and on and on.

He’s heard the spiel.

According to the National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW),  we have several dozen pedophiles in the area.

Am I scared?

Of course I am!

But he is getting older and I must let go. For now, I  prepare him. I remind him. I show him. Because a little fear will keep him safe. A little fear will keep him aware. And that is what I want.

And so I send him off to play with a hug and a kiss.

Because fear can not, must not, contain him.

Let’s talk! Do you think I overreacted? What would you have done in this situation?  Share your thoughts in a comment below!

 

———–——-

 

Playground rules prohibit adults without children. Signs, like the one shown below, are posted. If you should see an adult without a child, you can notify the police. The individual will than be fined and removed from the premises.

NYC Playground Rules  2007

To verify if a sex offender lives in or near your area, you can go to the a National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW)
or to the individual state’s Public Registry Site.

———–——-

Television and Cable Free Summer

My poor sons got the shock of their life today. On their second day of summer vacation, I cancelled our cable subscription!

Several months ago, I decided this summer we would spend more time together, bonding as a family. The decision came about as I contemplated my teen’s summer job and his move to college. It would also be the first summer my tween, who is 11 years old, would attend his school’s one month mandated summer school. Neither would have much free time,  as I result, I wanted to make sure that the time they did  have was spent creating memories.

After going over it in my head for several months, I decided. I would cancel our cable service. It’s drastic, I know, but we won’t be left without anything.  We have a multitude of movies and I received a 3 month free trial to Aereo, an Internet service provider that allows you to watch basic channels on your iPads and iPhones. I know that’s cheating a bit but it will give me  some free time when they are having cable withdrawals.

I’ll let you know how it goes! Who knows? If we survive the summer, I may even turn it off for good. Because the almost $100 I spend on my monthly cable service would look so much better in my savings account.
 

Let’s talk! Do you think you could survive the summer without cable? Why or why not? Let us know in a comment.

 

Laid Bare For The World To See

It feels like so much time has passed since my last blog post. In reality, it’s only been 2 weeks. Not much in real world time, but it’s a lifetime in the blogging world. 

I admit, I’ve tried to blog.

I’ve sat and stared at my laptop almost everyday. Trying with everything in me, to write. Yet, each time, I failed to write a coherent sentence. It’s not that I lost my mojo. I love writing. I love blogging. It just seems like life has thrown me so many curve balls, that I really did not know where to begin and so … I want to apologize.

As my readers, you probably know parts of me that my real life friends and family don’t. Writing is such a personal task. I open up in ways that I rarely do in person.  A tidbit here, another there, and you can connect the dots, get to know the real me. My joy and sadness, as well as what motivates me, can be found in one way or another on this blog.

This is me.

This blog is who I am, the many sides of me, laid bare for the world to see, in 1,103 posts – 1,104 if you count this one.

So today, I choose to cast off this sadness and begin again.

Because…

You are a part of me that I would not want to lose.

Thank you for standing by me.

xo