Domestic Violence

by Migdalia Rivera


Before I went into Corporate Law, I worked in ECAB in the District Attorney’s Office. ECAB (Early Case Assessment Bureau), is where felony and misdemeanor cases are evaluated and complaints are drafted. As a paralegal in the department, I interrogated victims, witnesses, and the police officers who conducted the arrests. I collected the information that was presented before the Grand Jury, speaking to the individuals when they were most raw and vulnerable. During that time I dealt with a variety of cases; however,  because of my demeanor I was eventually handed most of the Domestic Violence cases. It was a hard job, extremely draining because of the types of emotional and physical abuse I witnessed. They were not limited to abusive husbands beating on wives. They also included wives abusing husbands, children abused by parents, and elders abused by children.

This week was a particularly hard week for me. A loved one, who I cherish dearly is battling abuse. This person did not come to me but instead reached out to another “friend”. She was ashamed and frightened, with no money and no place to go. She showed up at this “friend’s” door and was allowed to stay for a few days but than told she had to go back. She left and returned to the abusive relationship.

I am devastated! I spoke to her but she said she had to go back because she had no place to go. I offered my residence but she does not want to place me and my children in the middle. I desperately want to help her but she will not allow me.

I am also very upset with the person she approached. I cannot believe that this individual allowed her to go back to that home.

As someone who saw firsthand what can happen in these cases, I am scared for her. It takes courage for a victim to leave. It takes courage for the victim to reach out.  It takes courage for a victim to HOPE. If its not received at that time, the abused person may not seek help again, believing that is their lot.  I am praying that she will reach out again. In fact, I am praying for all the other individuals going through these same situations.

Please know that you are valuable. You are important and you do deserve a better life.

As for the individuals they approach for help, please keep in mind that your hand may be the only one they have the strength to reach for. Please don’t turn them away.

About the Author

Migdalia Rivera, also known as Ms. Latina in social media, is a single Latina mother of a teen, tween and 2 Australian Shepherds. When not blogging, or chasing after her energetic bunch, she connects influential bloggers with brands and PR agencies via her blogger network, Stiletto Media.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sabrina September 14, 2009 at 11:13 am

This saddens my heart. One of my closest friends was in an abusive relationship for years and was beaten while pregnant.

I will include your friend in my prayers.

2 Nik September 14, 2009 at 1:13 pm

I will keep your friend in my prayers….God Bless

3 Alicia September 14, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Oh my gosh, I can’t even imagine. This must be so hard for you to stand by and watch. I’m hoping your friend changes her mind and either stays with you or someone else.

4 Ms. Latina September 14, 2009 at 5:32 pm

@ Alicia, @ Nik,@ Sabrina: Thank you Ladies for all your support!

5 Jaime September 15, 2009 at 12:10 am

Thanks for your post. I will say a prayer for your friend.
Thanks also for putting Nevaeh’s button on your blog!
Be blessed.

6 Jo Ann Hernandez September 15, 2009 at 9:50 pm

Hi Honey, I did research for a book on this subject. You really hit it on the nail. I’ll send my prayers to join all the others.

7 Christian September 16, 2009 at 12:03 am

Awesome post! Domestic violence is unacceptable for either man or women. Mutual respect goes a long way. Ladies please pay close attention to the “red flags!”

8 sunnymama September 17, 2009 at 8:08 pm

Good for you for raising awareness about domestic violence. I hope your friend can get the help she needs, or accepts your help when she is ready.

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